Seme Swap
by Manga60123
Summary: What happens when the commanding, in charge nations get Nyotalia-ized? How do they and everyone else deal with it? And what antics will the nations get themselves into now? Rated T for 'mild' language. More humor than romance, but... Pairings inside!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia! If I did, you fans would probably rampage! It would be scary... But awesome! Sadly, I don't own it... Just this story...**

* * *

**Prologue**

A blonde man descended the long staircase into a darkened basement. He frowned at the depressing atmosphere and felt his hand around for the light switch.

Clicking it on, he was able to smile at his surroundings, but the happy look soon became devilish as he continued into the room and began to search for what he had came there for.

"Aha!" the man cheered when he had found it. He held up a darkly colored book in his hands, pages yellowed with age.

He flipped open the book, coughing when a cloud of dust puffed up towards his face. He turned to a page that held the spell called 'Permuto exponentia'.

The blonde man squinted his dark eyes at the tiny script, "Bubble-bubble-hubba-bubba-Barry-Manilow-owa-Shiloh." An ominous magenta light shone brightly from the middle of the circle through the windows.

Once it had died down, the cloaked figure took one last look at the mysterious room before chuckling to himself, "That will do, oui," and slipping out of the room.

* * *

"Today is a beautiful day, non?" France jumped out of bed, gracefully landing on the ground.

France walked to the bathroom, took one look in the mirror, and screamed.

* * *

"Ve~, Germany! Germany, wake up! I know that you and Prussia got mega hungover last night, but you need to keep to your daily schedule!" Italy barged into the German's room, where said German had passed out atop a desk.

The Italian, oblivious as ever, came from behind Germany and leant forward to see upside down.

Catching sight of the German's face, Italy silently shrieked and tiptoed out of the room to get Prussia's help.

* * *

"Big brother... Where are you? I want to love you, but silly breakable people keep getting in our way! Nothing will separate us! We will be together fore- Big brother is not here; only little girl. You must be mad, showing up here. Big brother is mine, and no one will stand in my way of him!"

The young woman blinked, until, "Little sister?" in a voice so sickeningly familiar to Belarus that it brought shivers down her spine.

She dared to ask the question though, "Brother Russia?"

* * *

"ENGLAND!" Multiple voices growled in anger from their home countries.

In the island-nation of England, a certain emerald-eyed, blonde Englishman sneezed thrice. A foreboding sign; Something wicked this way comes.

* * *

**A/N: Hey look, my prologue! The name is not my best, but whatev's yo! I play by my own rules! March to my own beat! Ok, I'm done.**

** Here are the main couples in this story: GerIta, AmeCan (sibling love!), Russia x World (random people), France x Nobody (jk, probably BTT or Iggy), and SeaLat (because I can, so I will! Subplot)!**

** So most couples wont be apparent (cept for my GerIta and SeaLat, bros!), and there will also be tiny implications and hints at other couples!**

** Please enjoy this... Idea.**

**Translations:**

**'Purmuto Exponentia'= 'Swap Spell'**

**Oui= Yes**

**Non= No**

**Arrivederci!**

**Review for scones, one and all! Everyone gets a scone! Like, yay!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: They told me to say that I don't own Hetalia! I'll say that, but I'll never give you the money! *jumps out window* **

* * *

**Chapter One: Blaming England**

England marvel led at his cup of tea; just imagine, thousands upon thousand of tiny tea leaves were ground up to be placed in one cup of water with added honey, sugar cubes, and spices to create the wonderful beverage that he was currently sipping on. What a lovely thought he was having, too...

"WHAT THE FUCK, IGGY!" England winced, setting his cuppa down on the table and turning to face the annoyingly loud American accent with an eye-roll. But, did it sound... Higher? Suddenly, England was being suffocated with breast.

"Why the hell am I a GIRL?" England pushed himself away from the American woman, who looked about ready to murder him. The woman wore a large t-shirt adorned with the American flag, rolled up jeans and worn in sneakers. Her bright blue eyes twitched as her fingers gripped a baseball bat tightly.

England realized that he was staring at the blonde and, blushing, turned away. He stuttered, "I-I am so sorry, miss. What is your name?" And why are you in my house?

"Shut your Limey mouth! I know you did this, Iggy! It's me, America!" The blonde girl growled. And that's when England passed out.

* * *

_Ding dong._

_ Ding dong._

_ Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding do-_

"Bloody hell!" The door swung open, revealing a pale woman with long, luxurious platinum blonde locks. The mysterious girl wore a long beige trench-coat and carried a large shovel. Both England and America couldn't help but flush profusely at the sight; England because he felt embarrassed to have yelled at such a beautiful woman, and America because she still had the mind of a man.

"England," the woman chuckled darkly, sending shivers down the other two's spines, "what did you do to me? Kolkolkolkolkolkol..." And thus marked the second time that day that England had fainted.

* * *

"Come at me, Commie!"

"America, I am not a communist anymore, so I would appreciate if you stopped now before some... Fatal misunderstanding occurred."

"Is that a threat?"

"I would never threaten you, America-"

"I think that was a threat! And hero- heroines like me will not stand for it! Engardé!" The American threw a chair at Russia, who ducked it just before it smacked her head. The Russian quickly stood back up straight and grinned at the American woman in front of her.

"America, this is not fencing, but you throwing random objects at my head," she then unsheathed her shovel and brandished it like a sword, "I should teach you how fighting used to be back in my day." And the two were off, Russia with her shovel-sword and America with her bat.

England rolled his eyes at this display, 'they don't even know what the olden days were!', until an alto voice boomed throughout his entire house.

"ENOUGH!" Everyone jumped out of habit, although the voice was different, the harshness was still there. The tone that only one could make.

"Germany..." In walked a busty woman with medium-length blond hair which she repeatedly blew out of her face. She wore the same uniform that Germany wore normally, but with the sleeves rolled up and front unbuttoned to reveal the black undershirt she wore under.

From behind her came a frantic Prussia and Italy, the latter holding all sorts of styling tools and the former holding up what seemed to be Hungary's frying pan.

"Ve, come back Germany! I still need to do your hair and makeup!" Italy called out as he stumbled to the German woman. She rolled her icy blue orbs.

"Nein!" she protested, "I don't want to!" Hearing this, Prussia wielded the pan in the Italian man's direction. The Prussian dared Italy to even attempt to go near his sister.

Prussia frowned deeply, "Don't come any closer, Ita, or I will hit you!"

Fed up with this madness, England yelled, "Will you all just shut your bloody mouths for one second, dammit!" All heads snapped towards the Englishman, who gulped under their glares.

The German woman stomped towards England slowly, savoring every flinch the smaller man made. She reached him and made a guttural sound.

"I am a girl. I was a boy. This is your fault, and once you've fixed this, I will kill you." Another blackout for England; third times the charm.

* * *

"Really England, you've gotta stop passing out; Russia's here, who knows what she'll do!" England's eyes fluttered open.

"Don't speak about me as if I'm not even there!" the blonde man looked past the two superpower's struggles.

"Stay away from mein schwester, pervert!"

"But-"

"Bruder! Stop scaring Italy!"

Past the two Germans and one Italian bickering, England sensed a foreboding presence; somehow, he could sense something annoying about to run through the door which would somehow cause him to faint.

Apparently, he didn't realize that he had been inching closer to the door, which suddenly slammed open, revealing an extremely pissed off little girl and a red Latvia.

The Englishman fell to the ground, unconscious, as the blonde girl screamed, "Where the bloody hell is Jerk Eng- oh, there he is."

The Latvian boy shook as he approached Sealand carefully, "Don't yell, Sea. Please, we can talk calmly about this-"

"Don't tell me you're taking his side," the Sealander pointed to her unconscious older brother, "he's a jerk! You wouldn't do that, would you?" Sealand pouted and turned away.

Frantic, Latvia knelt in front of the smaller girl and simply smiled softly. Sealand's face went from depressed to excited in a matter of seconds, and the young girl grabbed Latvia in a hug.

America, Russia, the Germanic siblings, and Italy, all watched the spectacle; Germany and Prussia smiling at the two, Russia giggling softly, and America shivering at Sealand's uncanny resemblance in passive-aggressiveness to her brother, Cana-wha-cha-ma-call-it.

Realizing that people were staring, the younger nations let go of each other and scurried off to the living room to await England's relapse into consciousness.

* * *

France snuck into the room, hiding behind a conveniently-placed vase, and peeked her head through the flowers to look at the scene in front of her.

Three blonde women were screeching at a cowering England, who would have run away if not for the Prussian holding him down with a large smirk on his face. On the other side of the spectrum, Italy and Latvia were attempting to both calm the older women while also holding back a ravenous child, who was clawing her way towards the Brit.

This was all her fault; that she knew, but that didn't mean that she couldn't blame Angleterre. After all, everyone else was doing it, and it was working for them.

She put on her best acting face, and popped out from behind the plant, "Angleterre, I cannot believe you-"

"France?" Prussia questioned angrily, "we all know it's you, and we all know you suck at acting! You're obviously guilty!"

The three men turned women snapped their heads to the Frenchwoman, and crowded around her, dealing punches and kicks her direction. France cried as their hits sent her to the ground, curled up on herself. Sealand was cackling in the background while Latvia tried to shush her, to no avail. Finally, England had enough of the arguing.

"QUIET!" The whole group became silent as England regained his composure, "now, I did not do this to any of you, but I will be able to find out who did do this and how to change it back, if you would all just follow me."

"Why should we, you Brit?" Prussia retorted, "you could just be taking us into a trap for all we know!" There were murmurs of agreement throughout the small group of people.

England deadpanned, "If I wanted to trap you, I would have done it by now. Now shut up and follow me, unless you want to stay like that..."

The five new females straightened up at this and, pushing in front of Prussia, followed England. The rest of the men blinked a few times before deciding to follow them.

As they walked to the basement, England mentally cursed his bad luck; figuratively of course, his magic had gotten him in enough trouble as it is. If the group kept the same behavior, then this would be a long night. Very long.

* * *

**A/N: So, here is the first chapter! I've been wanting to do this for a while! Cause I always see those fanfics about the ukes being turned into girls, which completely defeats the purpose of the gender swap! I'd like to see the manly men adapt to womanhood; it's not as easy as you think! We do all the crap you do in heels! Yeah, I went there! Stupid mocha makes me hyper...**

**I'm not taking requests for pairings! I'm having it be GerIta, SeaLat, Overprotective-Brother!Canada, Overprotective-Brother!Prussia, France and Russia X random nations, and Allied Powers/ Axis Powers reactions! Just realized that only the Asians don't know what happened yet... Wow... Step up your game, you guys!**

**Updates on Sunday; my go-to day! It gives you time to review before I post! You're welcome! This is your invitation to review; use it. Or else. Ok, love you, BYE!**

**Translations:**

**Cuppa= Cup of Tea/Coffee**

**Engardé= What they say in fencing**

**Mein Schwester= My Sister**

**Bruder= Brother**

**Review...**

**Review...**

**Marriage- oops, wrong thing!**

**Review...**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Still wish I did. I could be a baroness of Sealand if I wanted to. Which I do. It is my life goal! That and world domination, yada yada yada, kolkolkol, all that jazz. Ok, story time!**

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Crisis**

"Now I'm sure that it's around here somewhere... Ah, here it is!" England smiled widely as he held up a worn book and a midnight-colored cloak, which he quickly adorned.

"Mr. England," Italy began, shivering slightly, "when can we leave your rape chamber-"

"It's a magic room!" Snickers could be heard throughout the crowd, Prussia's cackle cut off by Germany smacking his head. His yelp of pain was ignored by all.

"So, what now?" the German woman questioned. The Brit nodded silently, and leafed through the book, until he got to the section he was looking for.

"This will tell us who entered my lair-"

"So it is your rape chamber-"

"Bloody hell, Italy!" cue a smack on Italy's head, curtesy of Germany, "anyways, it will also tell us what spell he or she used."

The British man then turned to the cauldron forever planted dead center of the room and began a soft chant, which rose like a devilish mantra.

"Santo rita meeta meta ringo jonah tito marlin jack lotoya janet michael Dumbledora the explorer. Santo rita meeta meta ringo jonah tito marlin jack lotoya janet michael Dumbledora the explorer. I summon you from the depths of hell. SHOW YOURSELF!"

In the cauldron appeared the image of a tall, lean man wearing a dark robe.

"I love this show!" America yelled before being hit on the head by Russia's shovel.

"Well, it's obviously not England!" Russia stated with a small chuckle. England was about to protest before remembering who the pretty woman really was.

Everyone continued to watch as the figure tore the room apart looking for something, before he held up the large red book in England's hands.

The group stared for a second at it before lunging for it, shocking the British man and causing him to drop it into the filled cauldron with a resounding splash. The visual finally showed the face of the man as France, so England laughed sheepishly, "This is all France's fault?"

The crowd shook their heads; Britain gulped and sprinted off, angry mob in pursuit.

* * *

"Since we calmed down," Britain spoke as he hobbled around, glancing at everyone with his one undamaged eye, "we should figure out where all the girls should stay."

"Why do we have to stay somewhere? We are fully capable of taking care of ourselves," Germany argued with the Englishman heatedly.

England sighed to himself before answering, "You need to be with someone else so that nothing happens to you in that form! Does that make sense?" The calmed group nodded slowly.

"Ok, America and France will stay with me, while Germany goes with-"

"Me! Me! Ooh, pick me!" Italy called before being knocked out by Prussia, who once again held Hungary's pan.

Germany gasped, "PRUSSIA! That was completely uncalled for!"

"But WEST," Prussia whined like a five year old, "he was gonna molest you! I'm being a good big bruder!"

"You're being stupid, now shut up and listen to England!" Said man sent her a nod of thanks before continuing.

"Germany will stay with Prussia so that she can stay at her house and so that Prussia can be 'brotherly'. And finally, Russia can stay with... Um... With..."

"With the Baltics!" The Russian cheered happily. Latvia jumped at the woman's voice and began to quiver uncontrollably; no matter how hard Sealand pressed down on his shoulders, he would just keep shaking.

"Ok," agreed England, "So America and France are with me, Germany and Prussia, and Russia and Sealand with the Baltics. It should probably take me about three weeks to recover all of the information, so until then, just lay low." The rest nodded their heads and quickly ran out of the door, eager to get the three weeks done with quickly.

Breathing in relief, Britain turned to the two new additions to the house, only to find empty space where they had been only seconds before.

"America? France?" Three weeks, please end quicker.

* * *

Germany and Prussia hauled an unconscious Italy to their car. The German quickly threw Italy into the back and climbed into the drivers seat before being pushed out by Prussia.

"Preußen, what the fuck are you doing?" Germany hissed at her older sibling, who cackled back.

"Well, I am driving. Like the man of the family should do," Prussia replied mockingly, although his voice held a small tone of gentlemanliness in it.

Germany rolled her eyes and attempted to regain her seat, to no avail.

"Fuck you," Germany mumbled as she slide into the passengers seat. She thought, 'I cannot wait for three weeks to be up!'

* * *

Russia began to walk to her car when she felt a tug on her sleeve. She looked down to see Sealand glaring at her. Surprised at the brash display, the Russian woman bent down to the young girl's height.

"What is it, small one?" She tittered. Sealand huffed under her breath.

"Miss. Russia, while you are staying with us, I need to lay down some ground rules!"

"Oh? Like what?" Now, Russia was curious. Why would a small would-be nation like Sealand even consider talking up to the largest country in the world, Russia? That kid had guts, something that Russia respected.

"First," the blonde child exclaimed, "don't go near Latvia; you're bloody creepy and he doesn't like you!"

'On second thought,' Russia told herself, 'this might be a long three weeks. When England fixes us, I have to... Repay him...'

Latvia walked behind the two girls, thinking that he may be the only sane one left.

One thing was for sure; the upcoming few weeks were gonna be different. And not necessarily in a good way.

* * *

**A/N: This is the end of le introduction! Now we get on to the good stuff: random events and genderbent couples! Woop! Get ready, because this is gonna get good!**

**(This weekend I just did an awesome singing performance and had a bunches of fun! Also, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'll try to do a hallowtalia one-shot!)**

**Translations: **

**Bruder= Brother**

**Preußen= Prussia**

**Review for Genderbender madness! Do it! Please! For the children (who shouldn't be reading this story, this is a 'T' story)! Ok, bye!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. We've been over this, like, 3 times now! Really, you should know this by now!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Pranks**

America and France sat together on the guest bed, for once working together to solve a problem. That problem was revenge against England; America because she was still mad about her new gender, and France just because she felt like bugging the Englishman.

As a team, they had devised the perfect plan. Now, all they had to do is wait for their schemes to fall into place.

* * *

"Girls," England began carefully, worried that the two now-women wouldn't take offense to that title, "I am very sorry that this happened to you all, but I hope that we can put the past behind us and- ACK!"

The Englishman's speech was ended abruptly as he found himself flipped upside-down by rope tightly wrapped around his ankle.

He struggled for a minute, before being pelted with honey. Fully covered in the sticky treat, a large pile of feathers rained down upon him.

If that wasn't enough torture, England saw multiple flashing lights and heard the telltale snap of cameras that told him that this moment of embarrassment was being documented for the world to see.

Spitting feathers from his mouth, England bellowed, "America... France... GET DOWN HERE NOW!" If they were going to play dirty, then he could play dirty too.

* * *

"No TV?" America cried, distraught over missing her favorite superhero movies playing. Her former father-figure nodded solemnly.

France remained haughty, sticking her nose high in the air, "I am an adult, older than you, Britain! I can do what I want and you can't stop me!"

"When you stay under my roof-"

"You insisted-"

"I am the one to set the rules here; for example, no tar and feathering anyone in my house!" The American woman pouted at this, but nodded her head in agreement; France reluctantely followed suit.

"Now, the first thing we have to do is get you two some proper attire," England exclaimed as he stood them up and pulled them towards the closet, "but the first thing I have to do is clean all of this muck off of myself."

The two women snickered at this before the British man shot them a hard glare that made them shut up right away.

The Brit trudged slowly upstairs, his feet pounding on each step, causing America and France to wince. They sure had made him pissy; like a teenage girl. But, considering that he was the only man actually in the room...

"That was totally worth it,"

"Definitely worth it, mon ami," France agreed, "but, with Briton's sweater-vest fancy, I fear what he believes is 'appropriate attire'." France looked down at what she was wearing; her masculine cape and red military pants that she was oh-so-fond of. She really did need to get the correct outfits for this new self or she would look... American. The thought made her shudder; she examined the American woman's American style and frowned.

'England really was a bad influence on America, wasn't he?' The American looked at France with a questioning glance. The Frenchwoman realized that she had been staring and gave an apologetic chuckle.

"Well, we might as well get ready to go; heaven forbid England will try to buy us fashionable clothes!" France sighed as America let out a hearty laugh and jumped up quickly, flying out of the room in a flash.

France stood and pulled the now-oversized coat tighter around her and tentatively walked away from the room. It was time to start the torture.

* * *

**A/N: This was the first FAE moment (poor Canadadia isn't here yet)! There will be separate chapters for all of the Genderbents and then a chapter or two with them all together! And no, there's no set time frame, because I can. And I will. So there. (Wait, I used this joke in the prolog- *shot*)**

**Next up are our dear sweet German buddies! And, who can forget sweet little Ita? The waters get dicey for the little Italian, so stick around! And get that frying pan away from Prussia, or Hungary will kill him more than she's already planning to!**

**Translations:**

**Mon Ami= My Friend**

**Review for a free Germouser! Yay! Cute German-cat! Ve~, Itabby comes with! Always.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia the same way that England does not own the title 'Worlds Best Chef' or 'Worlds Best Father'. Because really, anyone who serves their children poison on a plate is NOT a good parent!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Showdown**

"Ve, Prussia, that was mean! You really didn't need to do that to me!" Italy protested whilst rubbing at the bruise on his forehead.

"Ja, it was! Especially considering how I found you two this morning!" Prussia defended, thinking back to that morning.

* * *

_Prussia had been sleeping in his room in the basement when he heard the pounding of feet on the floor above him. He growled to himself before hearing a loud crash from above, which sprung him out of bed and sent him racing upstairs to find out what was wrong. He stopped behind Germany's bedroom door, where he heard loud sounds and squeals coming from._

_ "Get off of me!" He heard a low female voice growl. Wait, a female... So West finally got the guts to get a woman; good for him! But, something about the girl's tone made him wonder if he should help._

_ "But, you're just so pretty!" A more masculine voice exclaimed in reply. It was Italy with that German woman. And it sounded like the woman in question was unhappy with whatever Ita was doing to her. And Italians ARE the best lovers..._

_ "I'll save you, young maiden!" Prussia called, kicking the door down to find Italy straddling a beautiful German woman with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She wore Germany's black tank, which was two sizes to big for her, except for in the chest area. _

_ Prussia walked over calmly, smiled at the duo... Then grabbed Italy by the shirt collar and threw him against the wall. _

_ The girl stared at the Prussian in disbelief before pushing herself to a sitting position and questioning, "What was that for, Prussia?" _

_ Prussia gasped at her; how did she know what he was?_

_ He must have looked really stupefied because she answered his question for him._

_ "It's me, Germany."_

_ Mind break._

_ Processing..._

_ Processing..._

_ Processing..._

_ "YOU DID THIS YOU PERVERTED SON OF A-" Prussia slammed Italy back into the wall and shook his shoulders roughly, until he felt a small hand on his shoulder._

_ Prussia whipped around in a mad daze, "WHAT?" He could see Germany wince slightly at his volume, something that he had never noticed before. _

_ "Italy didn't do this to me," Germany stated as she threw her old military jacket over her shoulders and rolling up her too-long pant legs, "but I think I know who did."_

_ That then led to Italy trying give Germany the 'Italian Makeover' and Prussia defending her younger sister by swinging the stolen pan at said Italian's head as he ran after a fleeing Germany._

* * *

"And that is why I don't trust you with Germany! Who knows what could happen!" Prussia finished with a nod. He opened his eyes... to no one.

"Ve, are you ready for some pasta?"

"Ja, whatever, just make me something. I'm starving."

Prussia stared at the kitchen door before he screamed, "ITAAAAALLLLLLLLLY!"

* * *

Later, Germany sat at the table with a steaming bowl of pasta in front of her, while Prussia and Italy continued to argue.

"Stop staring at her... STOP IT!"

"Ve~ I'm not staring!"

"STOP STARING!"

"I'M NOT!"

She thought to herself, 'I wonder what will happen when I tell them that I need new clothes... I'm not looking forward to this...'

* * *

**A/N: Yet another chapter, DONE! And I was able to describe Prussia's overprotectiveness through a flashback to his discovery of his brother's new look! Yes!**

**Next up: Russia, The Baltics, and Sealand! We will introduce dear sweet Lithuania and Estonia to the story! And the Axis and Allies (plus Sea-Kun/Chan) will be the only Genderbent Nations! That's because the spell only affected people closest to France. Explanation, WIN!**

**Translations:**

**Ja= Yes**

**Review for some PASTAAAAAA~! Ve, I should always talk like this, sí? Oh wait, I already do! Well, Hasta la Pasta!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, then I would be rich! Which I'm not! But if I did... Money...**

* * *

**Chapter Five: New Friendship?**

Sealand raced inside at top speed, Russia right behind her, while Latvia walked in at a normal pace.

"We're back, and we brought a friend," Latvia called down the hallway he moved towards, leaving the other two on the couch in the living room of his shared house. He seemed to be the only sane nation out of all of them, and so met his brothers at the end of the hall.

"You were with Sealand for a long time today; we didn't even see you two this morning!" Lithuania smiled at the young boy.

Estonia, on the other hand, kept his face even and indifferent, "Latvia, you need to remember to tell us when you are going out," The Latvian boy nodded to this quickly, "now, how was your day?"

Latvia took a deep breath, then, "SealandandRussiaandsomeother nationswereturnedintogirlsan dnowSealandandRussiaareinour livingroomand-"

"Latvia!" Lithuania shouted, before calming his voice, "say it slower."

The young boy took another deep breath and restated, "Sealand and Russia and a bunch of other nations were turned into girls and-"

"What?" Estonia questioned nervously before being elbowed by Lithuania. Taking this as a sign to move on, Latvia continued.

"And now Sealand and Russia are in our living room," he finished just as his quivers became maximized.

Lithuania and Estonia looked terrified, as they clung to one another. Estonia was muttering something about his nightmare coming true, while Lithuania asked, "So they're both here?"

A nod from Latvia, "Together?" Another nod, "In the same room?" A third nod. Lithuania gasped, as did Estonia.

"Sealand is gonna die! Russia's gonna kill Sealand!" And with that, the trio raced into the living room... To be met with Sealand. And Russia. Sitting together, perfectly happy, and chatting.

"So then I said, 'No way, ya Jerk of all Jerks!', and threw the rake at his head, and-"

"That is so funny! I would have loved to see that!" Russia cackled, holding onto her sides as she laughed harder than anyone had ever heard her do, "oh, hello! Sealand was just telling me how she spends Fall with England! It was great!"

The three Baltics stared at the pair, each other, then back at the two girls again. After that, the trio slowly backed away and booked it the rest of the way to their shared room, where they slammed the door shut and locked it, breathing heavily.

Lithuania looked to his brothers, "That... Was..."

"The scariest thing ever?" Latvia asked, Estonia nodding in reply.

* * *

Back in the other room, Sealand an Russia were having a stare-down; Sealand doing surprisingly well for someone who looked so young.

"You're cute," Russia smirked at the young child, who stuck out her tongue at the Russian.

"Oh, can it, you bloody Git," Sealand hissed back, baring her small teeth.

Russia gave another grin, "Learned that from England, didn't you-"

"Quiet! And it's 'learnt', not 'learned'."

"Spitting image," Russia hummed to herself. On the inside, she was bouncing with glee. Finally, someone who could match up to her! So what if that someone was an unknown entity off the coast of England; they always say that the smaller they are, the harder they fall. And Russia was ready for the challenge.

But, Russia wasn't ready for those three Blatic nations to tell her that they were taking a trip to the mall to shop for clothes. No, that was something she wasn't ready for at all.

* * *

**A/N: It's a... Sealand/Russia showdown! All the way! Who will win? Who will lose? Will they ever get along? Probably not, but they can fake it!**

**Next up is the mall! Woop! What will happen when their all shopping for clothes? Come on, its a mall, those nations aren't the most sane, something's gonna happen! Stick around to find out! But first... Maybe have a first aid kit handy...**

**Translations:**

**'Estonia was muttering something about his nightmare coming true'= Estonia is nervous because of the strip where he wakes up to everyone being girls, and God is telling him that he is trapped in the harem, and... Yeah, you had to be there...**

**Ok, that's all folks! *shot***

**Sorry about that, just review... Arrivederci, I guess...**

**And a Latvia plushy! Always. A. Latvia. Plushy. *shot for reused joke***

**Man, I need a new repertoire!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I'm not Japan; only Japan owns Hetalia! The other nations are all pissed that he made their secret a famous webcomic/manga/anime that people all over the world enjoy! Especially England, who gets chased by rabid fangirls who want him to, quote, 'have his babies' and all that junk. And then they found Fanfiction. So, all in all, I don't own Hetalia. The end. Now wait till the next chapter comes out. Just kidding, here ya go.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Shopping is, Like, the Best!**

"Just... Try on... The bloody..."

"I will not... Put it back... ACK! NOT THERE! Non, the other one..."

America listened to the two arguing inside the dressing room with mild interest; they had been in there for an hour already, which had given her more than enough time to replace all of the crummy things England bought her for stuff that was actually from this century.

But now she was just sitting while they tussled within the closed door. With nothing to do. Inside of a huge mall full of-

"See ya, Iggster, Francy-Pants!" she called, slipping out of the store (after paying for her new outfits, of course) to go cause mayhem. American-style!

* * *

Germany forced herself not to slam her head against a wall while Italy and Prussia fought about what she should buy.

Italy held up a forest green sundress, which Prussia instantly threw at the ground.

"Too much cleavage. Wear this," and with that, he thrust a long black turtlenecked dress with long sleeves at Germany's face.

"That is horrible!" Italy cried, distraught, "the weather is too warm for that kind of dress! And those sleeves are freakishly long!"

Prussia smirked, "They double as gloves!" Italy screamed in terror as Prussia slipped his fingers through the shirt sleeve and wiggled his fingers mockingly at the Italian, who then blocked the German woman from her brother's view.

"I will not let you commit fashion homicide on Germany! Preferirei morire!" Italy defended, holding his ground. Germany smirked lightly, 'If only he could be this brave in war.'

Prussia and Italy continued to debate Germany's style, with Italy waving around multiple dresses and Prussia throwing them away to be replaced with bodysuits and long robes.

Germany rolled her eyes at their antics and stood up from her spot, using her extensive spy training to sneak away to the military section of the mall. Sure she got a few stares, but all she had to do was stare back. They got the picture.

She leafed through the military jackets and sighed with contentment. This was perfect.

* * *

After Lithuania and Estonia had dropped the trio of Latvia, Russia, and Sealand off at the mall, the three found themselves wandering around aimlessly, wondering where they should go first.

Russia and Sealand continually sent each other glares whenever Latvia wasn't looking, so as not to let the Latvian know that they were fighting; Sealand because she didn't want to worry Latvia and Russia because she wanted to continue staying at the Baltic household, especially after the incident with Belarus. Another scarring moment for her collection.

"Let's go to the Toy Store, Latvi!" Sealand cheered, latching onto the Latvian's arm. Said boy blushed deeply and failed to utter any real words.

Russia frowned and strode forward, resting her arms on top of the Latvian boy's head. Latvia began to visibly shake at this, making the usually cheerful Sealand glare at Russia from behind, Russia smirking back.

"I think we should go to the flower shop, right Latvia?" Russia giggled, making Latvia shudder more than he already had been. Sealand quickly pulled the Latvian from under Russia, who stumbled slightly from the missing person.

Regaining his composure, Latvia stuttered, "I-I think th-th-th-that we sh-should g-go to get you t-t-two clothes f-first." The other nations present nodded in agreement and continued on their way, both plotting ways to break the other, while Latvia walked in-between them.

* * *

"Excuse me," the store clerk knocked on the dressing room door that had been shaking for an hour and a half now. Out popped two heads; one a woman with dirty blonde hair and deep blue eyes, the other a man who also had blond hair and emerald eyes.

"Oui? What is it?" the woman asked. French. Always the French.

"Um, you two have broken at least three store policies: staying in the rooms too long, men in the women's changing area, and... Whatever you were doing in there."

Blushing a deep crimson, the man apologized, "I am so sorry for that miss, we will be done in just a sec-"

"I'm not wearing that piece of merde!" the other protested from where she reentered the dressing room.

The blonde man turned to the room and screamed, "YOU WILL WEAR IT AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!" Then he turned back around to the worker, "Anything else?"

"Oh yeah, are you in charge of the other blonde who walked in with you?" A sad nod from England, who sadly was in charge of her, "well, I just wanted to inform you that she is currently singing the American national anthem while canoeing through the chocolate river which she created in the water fountain."

"Oh," England looked down for a minute before realizing what had been said, "WHAT?" With that, he ran out of the room, dragging a half-dressed, protesting France with her.

"Oh look, my first normal customers just left," the worker droned before returning to her job.

* * *

Germany walked out of the military apparel store with her new purchases in one hand, her wallet in the other.

She smiled to herself, shopping for women's clothes had been easier than she had thought it would be.

After all, she already had a style that worked, so all she needed to know was her bust size and waist size so that she could get the right suits for her new figure. Germany decided to go against skirts, and instead bought herself camo pants and pantsuits.

She was tugged out of her thoughts at the same time that a lanky teenager tugged her wallet out of her hands. Oh no, that boy shouldn't have even thought about doing that. He was going to regret that in the morning.

She grabbed his arm and flipped him over, smack onto the floor. He tried to stand until she sat on his back. She then pulled his arms back behind him and yanked her wallet from his grubby fingers.

With a look of mild disgust, she slipped it into her coat pocket before returning to the boy in front of her.

"Why did you steal from me?" she growled as she pressed his face into the ground.

The boy shook in fear, obviously having assumed that she would just let him steal from her. As if.

"I'm so sorry, it's just that I needed money for my family, who can't buy clothing or food or basic necessities or-"

Germany interrupted him, "I don't believe you."

The young man sputtered, "B-b-b-but, why-"

"If your family was really as unfortunate as you said, then you wouldn't even be at this mall. Everything here is expensive, so you wouldn't have been able to buy anything anyways. Also, if you weren't even able to buy food, you would have no car to even get here. And lastly, you are a strong boy for your age; you wouldn't be like that did you were starving. Nice try, but you have to do better than that if you want to trick me. Now stand up and march, soldier, MARCH!" And with that, the boy was off.

Italy and Prussia walked up to Germany yelling into the distance, "BRING THOSE LEGS HIGHER! MOVE IT!"

The two men looked at each other and silently agreed to not leave Germany alone in a shopping mall like this again.

* * *

"So first, some clothes for Sealand," Latvia exclaimed as he pulled many sailor-style dresses off the rack and handed them to her.

The Sealander crinkled her nose in disgust, "I don't want to wear dresses; I'll feel too girly! No thanks."

Worried that Sealand had gotten upset with him and hated him now, Latvia began to shake and tear up, "I-I-I-I'm so s-s-sorry, Sealand! I-if you d-d-d-don't want t-to be my f-f-f-friend anymore, I-I understand-"

"No!" Sealand shouted before grabbing the outfits from Latvia's hands with a shaky smile, "I love them! I'll just... Try them on..." Laughing hesitantly, Sealand slipped into the girl's dressing room and slipped on the first dress.

She then burst out of the room to see Latvia and Russia staring at her. She smiled widely to hide her discomfort at their looks, "So, how do I look?"

Latvia sat there, completely still. He was frozen in time, unable to do anything but watch the girl in front of him twirl around in the brightly colored dress. She looked like something out of a movie; something that he only wished he could touch. Sadly, he feared, those things were out of his reach.

Sealand's face popped right in front of him, "Are you ok? Your face is really red? It's sorta funny!"

"ACK!" Latvia shrieked as he tumbled backwards, grabbing onto Sealand for support but instead pulling her back with his inhuman strength as well.

The two screamed as they fell onto the floor, which was luckily piled high with the dresses for Sealand. They landed inside the pile, which they popped their heads out of seconds later. The duo giggled, until Russia, who had been watching the whole time, came up to them with a bright smile on her face.

"So, are you going to get that?"

* * *

"Do I have to pay for that too?" England whined as the manager nodded. Sighing, England pulled out his wallet and thrust £186.7 at the man. He then grabbed America's arm and dragged her away from the station, holding onto the reins of her newly paid for pony with the other.

"Can I keep it, Iggy? Please, please, plea-"

"NO!" England screamed, "you can't keep it! We're going to give it to a nice farmer who works all day and needs a friend!"

America whined at this, "But Iggmeister-"

"Don't call me Iggy!"

"-I was gonna be best friends with the pony! He was so cool too, I was gonna name him 'Steed' because he's fast like the wind!" England blinked.

"What, no superhero name? We-"

"-And then I thought, that's mighty boring for a cool guy like this, so I came up with the new name of 'SuperBatFlashSpiderBlackLant ernCaptainIronHulkMan!'" America wooped.

England glared at her, "You done-"

"The second! Ok, now I'm done!" England felt his eye twitch, something it hadn't done in years. Great.

"Bloody- Wank- Git- Hell!" He shouted and stomped away towards the entrance. America watched him leave with a bright, idiotic smile on her face.

"Hey Iggy," she called out to the man, who pointedly ignored her, "you should have learned not to let France wander off in a place with people, right?" England visibly paled and ran back into the store, past America, all while screaming, "It's 'learnt', not 'learned', you bloody Git!"

* * *

"...And that's how I learned not to piss of America's brother!" Prussia cackled to his little sister from where they sat in the food court, "it took me two weeks to get that hockey stick out of my-"

"Preußen! I don't want to hear that while I'm eating!" Germany cried, gesturing to her meal of wurst and pumpkin cider. Prussia chuckled apologetically, and began to eat his meal as well.

After they had all met up, they decided to get some food inside the mall to save time and money. Germany and Prussia had gotten their food at a Germanic-styled restaurant, while Italy had gone to an Italian-themed place for his daily dose of pasta.

Germany was currently taking precise, even bites of her wurst, obsessively wiping her mouth once it got too greasy for her liking. Prussia examined his new little sister; she was much smaller than Germany had previously been, which made her actually look like the younger sibling. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and weighed down with an excessive amount of hair gel that Germany put in her hair while Italy screamed about ruining it. She had a nice figure and looked stern unless you looked straight into her eyes, which were surprisingly large and doe-like.

"Bruder, are you alright?" Prussia was jerked out of his inner musings as Germany looked at him with a questioning stare, "you've been looking at me for a while and you're all red. Do you have a fever?"

Regaining his composure, Prussia smirked and shook his head, "I wouldn't let something like a little cold hold me down! I'm the awesome Prussia, bitch please!"

And then he got smacked in the face. Yes, with a wurst.

* * *

Russia fell to the ground from where her psychopathic sister had slapped her. She looked up in fear to see Belarus glaring at her with animalistic predatoriness.

"Where did you take my dearest brother, witch?" the Belarusian snarled viciously; Russia trembled under her glare.

"B-B-Belarus, it's m-me, R-"

"Bull!" Belarus interrupted, "enough of that joke; my brother is not a woman! He is my soulmate, and you are getting in the way of our eternal love!" Russia blanched and looked around herself for help, in vain.

"But-" protested Russia. 'Why does she not believe me? And where are the two little ones?'

"No buts, now follow me with a smile on your face. I'm going to find out where my love is if it kills me. Or, I should say, you." Belarus then latched her hand with Russia's in a vice grip and walked to the restroom's back exit. Russia winced in pain, but kept a bright smile on her face as she walked closer to her doom.

* * *

"Hey Sealand," Latvia began, "Russia's been in there for a while now; do you think she's alright?"

The Sealander looked at the door to the bathroom for a moment, worry flitting across her face, until she shrugged it off and grinned, "Yeah, I bet she's fine; she's the largest nation in the world, so she can defend herself! Right?"

Latvia gave an uncertain nod before following the bouncing Sealander to the exit, at least ten shopping bags in his hands and on his arms while Sealand carried four more.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter... Is so long... Mein Gott!**

** Happy Black Friday! Err... Thanksgiving... Nah, screw it, BLACK FRICKIN' FRIDAY, BITCHES!**

**...**

**Ok, I'm good now.**

** The Germany/Prussia/Italy parts were surprisingly the easiest for me to write! Then was the America/France/ England parts, and lastly was the Sealand/Latvia/Russia parts! I thought that it would be easiest for me to write SeaLat, but then Russia got in the way! God damn it, Russia!**

**But, then Belarus made a reappearance... In the bathroom... Yeah, there's a back exit for the restroom... It's a weird mall with ponies!**

**Next up are our singular chapters again! And possibly some new developments! Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!**

**Translations:**

**Preferirei Morire= I'd Rather Die**

**Oui= Yes**

**Merde= Shit**

**£186.7= $300; €231.59; ¥23,530**

**Preußen= Prussia**

**Bruder= Brother**

**Review for your very own SuperBatFlashSpiderBlackLant ernCaptainIronHulkMan the Second! Wait, there was a first?**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Review!**


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Mango60123 no own Hetalia. Mango60123 sad. Mango60123 is just using this to shamelessly advertise their name. That bastard.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Thoughts**

"That was fun, right Germany?" Italy bounced on his toes with glee. The trio had just walked through the door of the Beilschmidt home, where Italy had made himself at home during their alliances. Italy still left some of his clothing and things in one of the guest rooms that had been deemed his.

Germany didn't answer at first, but then nodded her head in agreement. Prussia and Italy were confused by her silence and asked, "Are you ok?" in unison, glaring at each other afterwards.

Germany sighed at this. It was a good thing that Italy was finally getting the will to fight, but with her older bruder? It was confusing; why was Italy acting this different from when she was a man?

She decided not to dwell on it at the

moment, and instead answered the two men's question, "Ja, I'm fine, just a little tired. It was a long day, after all. I think I'm just going to go to bed," and continue with her shopping bags upstairs to her room.

She quickly and diligently changed from her daytime clothes into the nightgown that Italy had forced her to buy, much to Prussia's anger.

She then turned to her bed and fell face-first into the mattress. Her face successfully smushed against a pillow, she let out a loud groan.

None of this made sense. It didn't add up, and that was driving her crazy. Only a day ago, she was a he and showed no signs of changing. And now... Now...

This sort of stuff doesn't happen. It is impossible! Magic can't be real; England's just a crazy old man stuck in his fairy tales. But if that was true, then WHY THE HELL WAS GERMANY A GIRL!

Germany let out a muffled scream, beating her fists against the bedspread in anger. She felt like she was going crazy, and maybe she was. It just didn't make any sense why only her, France, America, Russia, and Sealand got turned into girls. It was... Completely mind-boggling.

And why were Italy and Prussia at each other's throats lately? Italy has never acted the way he had been with Prussia these last few days, but now he was asserting his opinion and not taking no for an answer.

Germany fingered her new nightwear as she contemplated this turn of events.

If she wasn't so affected by this current predicament, then she would think that this was a great experience for Italy. Finally he was growing a backbone; that was something that Germany had been trying to get him to do since they formed their first alliance. But now... It was sort of amazing to see. When Italy was fighting for something he believed in, even if it was as stupid as pasta toppings, he would get a glint in his eyes and a frown would spread across his normally cheerful face. It was different and dangerous... And cool. It made him stand out more than he ever had, and it impressed Germany. She assumed it had something to do with his Mafioso background, but a scowl made him look extremely attractive.

Realizing what she was thinking, Germany lightly slapped herself on the cheek.

Now was not the time to be thinking about Italy; she had more important things to do, like figuring this whole girl business out, deciding how to tell her boss about her new appearance, finding some gottverdammn chocolate in this house-

Wait, what?

Germany dismissed that final thought as proof of her exhaustion, and finally rested her head on the pillow, deciding to let her brain relax until morning when she could think straight.

She rid all thoughts of Italians and chocolates from her mind, and fell asleep.

* * *

"Hey Prussia," Italy began, "do you think Germany's ok?" Prussia looked up from his dinner of pasta with sliced-up wurst.

"Yeah, she did just become a girl today, though, so give her time," Prussia sputtered with his mouth full, spitting chewed up bits of noodle at Italy as he talked.

The Italian in question grimaced at the Prussian's table manners (or lack thereof), and quickly cleaned up the mess he left before returning to his food.

Germany was acting different, but Italy couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not yet. When Italy had first seen Germany in her new form, he had been surprised. It was especially surprising to him how much of a beauty Germany was in female form, but Italy guessed that it made sense, considering how handsome male Germany had always been...

But as a girl, Germany seemed more delicate. It was scary how big the change was; even though Italy was perfectly aware of the German's inhuman strength, he still felt the need to protect her from any and all danger.

This was Germany he was thinking about though, the same person who had protected both Italy, Japan, and the German army as well. Strong, tough, macho Germany, who showed no emotion and never gave up! This was Germany, the most sane and together nation there was! Germany was able to take care of herself, girl or not!

Italy sighed in relief, glad he could stop worrying about that. The next thing to think about was Prussia. But first, some pasta!

* * *

Italy let out a cheerful "Ve~" as his facial expression relaxed into oblivious content yet again. Moments before, the Italian man had been staring intently at the bowl of pasta, deep in thought.

Prussia frowned lightly and stabbed his fork into a slice of wurst. He then shoved it into his mouth, while observing Italy.

He would admit that he was suspicious of the lovable Italian, if only because his brother was now a sister. When Germany was a man, Prussia knew that he could trust him to protect himself, but now that he was a she, Germany could get severely injured. Prussia felt the need to protect her from everyone, even her closest ally and friend. No one would hurt Germany.

But, since this fateful morning when he had discovered his brother's new identity, Prussia had begun to see a change in both her and Italy.

Germany seemed lost, which he could tell was because she was still trying to decipher what had happened to her; Prussia knew all about Germany's need to understand every small detail of a situation, and he thought it was funny when something came along that would make his younger sibling 'short out', as he called it. Even if that was the case, Prussia was still worried about his little sister's recent mood. She seemed more out of it, which wasn't normal for the normally sharp German.

Italy, on the other hand, was more into it than normally, which was proving to grate at Prussia's nerves. Normally, Prussia really enjoyed the company of the goofy Italian, but lately Italy had been trying to make decisions for Germany while turning down anything that Prussia showed. And whenever Germany walked into the room, Prussia swore that Italy had never opened his eyes wider in his entire life; the Italian's eyes were almost popped out of their sockets, he was near the point of drooling whenever she walked towards him. Not that she noticed. Apparently her new body made her painfully oblivious to all of the Italian's advances.

But that was beside the point.

Prussia just wanted his sister safe and happy and out of harms way. Seeing his sibling so small had resurfaced all of the memories of Germany's life. Prussia had practically raised Germany by himself; Germania was always gone in war for long periods of time, leaving Prussia to learn how to be a parent when he was just a small boy. That explained his inability to act mature, causing his baby brother to be the adult figure of the house. Maybe Prussia was simply scared of his younger sibling having a childhood that both had no experience with. Or maybe Prussia just didn't want for anybody to touch his little sister.

No matter what the three were thinking about that night, they were going to be worrying about something completely different in the morning.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Plot moving along makes me happy! And I sorta broke the order! But I'm the author so deal! Ok, love ya, bye!**

** So I'm back. **

** Next up: Sealand and Latvia, with some Russia on the side! And stuffs a happenin'! Now I just have to think about what to write... *headbang***

**No translations! That's a first for my multi-chap stories! Although, I only have two...**

**Review... Please help...**


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own a cupcake! Is that the same? No? Well... Then I guess I should tell you that I was lying about the cupcake then...**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Bipolarity**

Latvia and Sealand walked through the door, Latvia nearly bouncing on his toes despite the load of bags that he was dragging with him. His day had been great; one of the best times he'd had in a while! Of course, that was always the case when Sealand was around. The micro nation just made life a bit brighter everyday.

Well, not at the moment, she wasn't. For whatever reason, Sealand was sulking in her personal melancholy, throwing her shopping bags on the ground and collapsing onto the couch with a long sigh.

Latvia looked over at this, wondering what had gotten Sealand into such a mood. Then, he remembered Russia's sudden disappearance, and the two's recent friendship. They were always close to one another, talking and giggling and throwing flowerpots at each other like the closest of friends. It was sort of annoying, Latvia had to admit to himself. But he put that in the back of his mind for now as he asked, "What do you want to do now, Sea?"

Sealand mumbled something incoherent into the pillow her face was currently smushed into. Then she lifted her head lightly and whined, "I want to crawl in a hole and die..."

The Latvian boy's head jerked up at this; what could get Sealand to be that upset.

Worried, he got on his hands and knees and crawled up to the Sealander. He pulled her up from the cushions and questioned, "Why are you upset? Please tell me; I want to help you be happy again!"

The girl stared at him for a moment before bursting into tears and launching herself at the young boy, who toppled over at impact.

"It's just... Everything's so confusing and England ruined my life cause now I'm a girl and everything is different and people look at me weird and now I have to wear dresses like... Like a GIRL and I don't want to because I'm a boy, well not really, but I am and I don't like not being normal and I feel really upset for some reason and THIS IS ALL ENGLAND'S FAULT AND I'LL KILL HIM THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM, THAT WANKER and now I'm all good and it felt really nice to tell you all of this; thank you so much, you're so kind, Latvi! I'm gonna go to bed; Night!" Sealand gave Latvia a peck on the cheek and skipped up the stairs in her sudden happiness, whistling as she went.

Latvia blinked at the spot where Sealand had been sitting and crying just moments before, then flushed a deep red hue. He touched his cheek with one hand and wiped the small drop of blood from his nose. He didn't know what just happened, but it was cute. She was cute, especially when she was upset and rambling with tears in her eyes.

Latvia slapped himself on the side of the face. Now was not the time to be thinking of that! He should be thinking about what to do with this whole 'girl-transformation' thing. And... Where did Russia go?

* * *

"I will make you regret the day you set sights on my brother!" Belarus threw a knife at the wall across from her.

Russia stood up and exclaimed, "I AM your brother!" Belarus flung three more butchers knifes at the wall behind where Russia was tied up. The woman who was stuck to a chair flinched as the objects barely missed her head.

"If you are my brother," Belarus started quietly, "then prove it," Russia's head perked up, "here is a question that only my dearest big brother would know the answer to: what is my biggest secret?"

The Russian woman smiled widely, "That's easy; you have a weird obsession with cardboard boxes and you once spent three hours staring at France's-"

"I BELIEVE YOU!" Belarus screamed, blushing a deep red as she used yet another knife to cut Russia out of her bindings, "shit, you really are my big brother. That just tops the fucking cake."

"Belarus!" Russia cried, appalled by her younger sister's vulgar language.

"What?" Belarus questioned, picking up her discarded blades, "I just found out that the man I love is now a woman, how the fuck am I supposed to feel?"

Though her voice was its normal monotone, Russia could still see the annoyance, anger, and most of all hurt in her sister's eyes.

"Belarus, how about instead of pursuing your brother-turned-sister, we instead became closer as siblings... And maybe as friends?" Russia held a spark of hope; granted it was a small spark, but it was still something.

Belarus sighed, "I guess that could work... It's going to suck not having my dear big brother to marry, but I guess I could dedicate my time to buying a cat and watching its piss glowing under a black light."

Russia made a face, "Why... Why would you do that?" Belarus shrugged in reply.

"Because I can?" The Belarusian woman smirked at the other one who chuckled despite herself.

"After this can we buy France an E.T. plushy? I'd like to see the look on her fac-"

"Wait," Belarus interrupted her sister, "France too?"

Russia nodded, "Yes, France, Germany, Sealand, and America-"

"America?"

"America, now QUIT INTERRUPTING ME!" Belarus closed her mouth and let Russia continue, "we are all females now, which I suppose isn't too bad."

Belarus looked appalled, "Being a woman sucks ass, Russia! Learn now that the world of females is a cold and dark place, of which there is no return from. It will have your skin crawling and your heartbeat quickening. It will-"

"Thank you, sister, for making me feel so much better about this!" Russia deadpanned.

Belarus rolled her eyes at her sibling as she led the way to the top floor of her house, "I don't feel any pity for you. Stop whining like a girl; this might actually be easy for you."

Russia pouted and strode ahead, head held high. Belarus snorted under her breath and quickened her pace to catch up with the Russian woman. This could be the start of a great friendship; one that could totally mind fuck the world. So next on their shopping list was a cat, a black light, and an E.T. plushy. Consider the world mentally fucked.

* * *

**A/N: Dang, lotso swears at the end of this chapter, but Belarus has a dirty mouth that she should clean with orbi- *shot* NO SELLING OUT!**

** I felt like this was easier to write than I thought it would be! Yay! Yay! Yay! Sea-Chan and Latvi are adorable (and way more cognizant of their feelings than the adults. Sad, huh?) and are a heck of a lot of fun writing! **

** Belarus is actually really quirky... It really scared me... She knows a whole bunch of useless facts and stares off into space for long amounts of time! I had to subtract her from the equation first and foremost before any more plot took off! She's actually really fun to write, but I had to watch my language for a bit... Yeah, I'm not really that worried about language! There's a warning in the summary, so don't say I didn't tell you!**

**No translations, cause I'm a lazy a- *shot* NO SWEARING!**

**Oh wait, two things:**

**Cat urine glows under a black light**

**E.T. Plushies are illegal in France because there is a law against dolls without human faces! That's face-ist!**

**Please review for a free E.T. plushy; it will give your child life-long nightmares! Order now! Or just review... Yeah, that sounds better...**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I will never own Hetalia. Just my story... Yeah... **

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Sickness**

"We're finally home and- AMERICA, GET YOUR BLOODY ARSE OFF THE DAMN PONY!" England screamed as he smacked the American girl off of the horse with one of the many shopping bags they had acquired on their trip to the mall.

America hit the floor with a thud and just sat their, face to the ground. England and France blinked and looked down at the woman, who remained perfectly still like that.

France was the first one to break the silence, "Is she ok?" As if answering her question, America slugged across the room and up the stairs to her guest room, not changing her first position once.

Once again the two older nations watched her drag herself around until she was gone, when they turned to each other awkwardly.

"So..." Began England.

France whistled, "Well..."

"Um... So..."

"Well... Uh-" France's hesitation was cut off by her stomach growling loudly. The rumble brought a blush to her face and a knowing smirk to England's.

"Are you hungry, France?" England questioned mockingly, grin widening with each word. In contrast, the Frenchwoman became more and more flustered and looked away in embarrassment.

The woman mumbled something incoherent, making the Englishman lean in closer to hear it.

"Say it again, love," the man asked, France yet again muttering something, this time even quieter.

England sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch tha-"

"YES! I'M STARVING, YOU BATÂRD!" France finally cried out, making England draw back quickly and rub his ear.

"Ok," England hummed to himself to avoid snapping, "let's just go to the cooker and make some food, huh?" This sentence made France blanch, but not for the obvious reason. The idea of England's food actually sounded GOOD to her at the moment.

She tried to hold it in, but finally blurted out, "Couldyoumakemesomescones?" in one breath.

England blinked and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Was France, the one who had criticized his cooking since they were little children, actually ASKING him to make her food? Scones, even! He must be dreaming, because that was impossible!

"You're joking, right?" He laughed slowly, quieting down when he saw the look of seriousness on the Frenchwoman's face, "you're not joking." She shook her head. Dear God.

England nodded dumbly, and went into the kitchen to fix her some of his concoction. France settled into a kitchen chair and rested her burning face on the cool counter, letting out a deep sigh.

She must be sick, that's what must be wrong with her. Why else would she crave England's merde cooking? It must be from the stress of having a new body; it seemed as if America was run down too, although who wouldn't be tired after surfing a giant chocolate wave and riding a horse through a ring of fire? Wait, America wouldn't be.

After thirty minutes of waiting, the British man finally brought a small plate of the bread to the table, where he set it by her head. She rolled her face from its spot on the table and carefully bit into one of the scones.

Britain watched raptly as she chewed slowly and swallowed, smiling broadly at her as she licked her lips in thought. She didn't notice it, but her cheeks became pink as she ate, which England found cute. Only a little bit, though. But not really at all, because there was no way that Britain could find a Frog to be cute. Not in a million years would England blush lightly as France happily munched on his scones, giving him a small smile in between bites. Not at all. But, maybe just a little bit.

She sat there for a minute, then stated, "Needs something more, like...peanut butter and pickles!" England stared at her as she slammed her head back onto the table, then he picked her up bridal-style from her seat of gloom and carried her upstairs, muttering that "she must be diseased, because peanut-butter and pickle scones sounded disgusting, even to him, who would eat any kind of scone."

France groaned to herself and hoped that whatever sickness she had gotten that wiped away her gourmet palate would end soon. Real soon.

* * *

**A/N: Woop! Another chapter done! As I'm writing this, I am losing precious sleep time that I need for PSATs tomorrow! Wow, am I an idiot!**

** I wrote this during PSATs, but now I am supposed to be studying for finals! Hah! Raise a glass for bloody procrastination!**

** Has anyone guessed what's happened yet? Probably, I made it too obvious! Answer in the reviews or PMs to me, and then see if you got it right next chapter!**

**Translations (I missed you!):**

**Batârd= Bastard**

**Merde= Shit**

**(wow, all swears...)**

**Review for RUSSSIA! Her stomach was making the rumblies that only hands can satisfy! Yeah, she's a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence... CAAAARRRRRL!**

**Review, dammit!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I didn't own Hetalia yesterday, so- wait, what? I own Hetalia now? WHOOO- oh, this is a prank? Really? Oh, ok... BURN IN HE- *shot* NO SWEARING! AND I ALREADY USED THIS! Dammit. *double-shot***

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Girl Troubles**

It was a beautiful day outside; Gilbirds were chirping, the sun was shining, grass was growing... Prussia woke up to a scream.

"AAAHHH!" The high-pitched noise scared him, causing him to fall out of bed in fright.

He groaned and glared at his alarm clock. It was only five o' fuck in the morning. Who was waking him up this early.

Then, his brain finally clicked and realized that the only person who would be awake at that time would be-

"Germany!" Prussia yelled, jumping up from the floor and racing up the basement stairs to the German's room. He swore under his breath that if Italy had touched a single hair on his sister's head, that he would-

His thoughts were interrupted yet again as he kicked down the door to Germany's room, where he saw his sister crying on the bed, which was covered in her-

Prussia passed out.

* * *

"I'm so scared! Help me, Latvia! It won't stop!" Sealand cried from down the hall and in the restrooms. She sat with her face in her hands, scrubbing furiously at the tears that threatened to fall.

She was so weak. She couldn't even handle this one thing by herself; she just didn't know what to do! Did this happen to other nations? If so, then why? It made no sense, and her thoughts were jumbled up into a single mantra: Get help.

Sealand could hear light thumps of footsteps running down the hall towards the door. She yelped out in pain and hoped the Latvian would just hurry up and get there.

Finally, she heard knocking on the door, asking if he could come in. Sealand was about to answer when another wave of pain spread through her, eliciting a cry instead.

This got Latvia to open the door and nod, having seen this coming. He smiled softly and got to work.

* * *

Russia cried out in pain as Belarus rolled her eyes.

Right now, Russia was in the restroom having a panic attack while Belarus sat calmly on top of the sink. The Russian woman had woken up in Belarus' guest bedroom and ran straight to the bathroom, and had now been sitting in there for close to an hour.

"Do you want me to tell you what this is?" A head nod from Russia, "ok. This is a-"

"PAIN! KOLKOLKOLKO-"

"Do you want to know or not?" Another nod, this time with a whimper, "then shut up."

* * *

"ENGLAND!" A loud voice called from down the hall. The Englishman in question had been resting when his name had been screamed.

True to his quick-natured past, England sprung from bed and quickly raced to the direction of the sound.

"AMERICA! FRANCE! ARE YOU OK? WHAT'S WRONG?" He burst into the bathroom, panting, when he stopped at the sight.

America was calm and humming while France was screaming and crying with fear. He instantly knelt down to France to comfort her, but she was too distraught to do anything to calm herself.

England looked up at the American, "What's going on that made France so upset?" America smirked to herself, 'It is going to be so much fun to tell England what happened!'

"Well, it all started when..."

* * *

When Prussia woke from his quick collapse, he sprung into action. He shushed the sobbing girl and carried her to the restrooms, where he sat her down on the porcelain throne.

She was still upset, so Prussia softly stroked her hair and whispered an old lullaby to her, which slowly but surely calmed her. By the time Prussia had finished singing, Germany was breathing deeply and peacefully, having relaxed.

The Prussian smiled lightly and ruffled her hair, standing from where he had knelt. He was ready to walk away when he was stopped by a hand clutching his wrist.

He looked back at the girl with a small grin, "Mind letting go?" Germany looked down in embarrassment, and said the words that Prussia had never imagined ever hearing again.

"Stay with me. Please."

Scarlet eyes widened and Prussia took his baby sister into his arms and pressed his nose into her blonde locks, breathing in her sweet scent. She took shuddering breaths into his chest and asked him a muffled question that he was just able to decipher.

"What's happening to me, Bruder?" Prussia smiled to himself and opened his mouth to answer.

* * *

Sealand sat sniffling on the couch, cuddling into Latvia's side and using his shoulder as a pillow. He held the upset child steady as she rubbed at her eyes.

"I'm strong, I'm tough, I'm Sealand..." the Sealander muttered to herself as she shuffled closer to the Latvian boy beside her. Said boy chuckled and held onto her tighter to show his presence.

Then he heard a small voice squeak out something that he couldn't hear. He bent down closer to Sealand's height so that he could hear what had been said.

"Wh... What's wrong with me?" she whispered, causing Latvia to blink in surprise, "that is... What happened to me to cause... That..."

Remembering earlier that morning, Latvia giggled softly and spoke softly into her ear to tell her what it was that had happened.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to kno-"

"Bog chert voz' mi, Belarus! Tell me!" Russia yelled from her seat, exasperated by her younger sister's beating around the bush.

Her sister smirked knowingly and leant in closer to the Russian woman, "Fine, I'll tell you."

"Good," Russia sighed, relief in finally figuring out what was going on spreading through her.

"After these quick messages," Belarus deadpanned, jumping off of the counter to avoid the shovel that Russia swung at her head, "geez, learn to take a joke, Расія! Ok..."

* * *

"You are kidding, right?" England was pale as he stared at the American he had raised many years before that.

Said woman shook her head, "Nah man, I wouldn't kid about that! Do I really need to say it again?" A nod from England. By now France was the same pallor as her English frenemy, "fine, I'll repeat it for you two! But you guys should actually listen this time! I say important stuff sometimes too... Ok, so I never say important stuff. But I'm starting today, so shut the hell up and listen to the HEROINE!"

* * *

In four different places in Europe, four different people exclaimed in unison one important sentence.

"Your on your period!"

Cue the gunshots.

* * *

**A/N: It was building up to this part, ya know! Yeah, I had this planned from the beginning! They're gonna be all pissy now, so it'll ensue hilarity! I know, you're thinking, "You idiot, this is the number one overused Nyotalia event!" Well screw you, critical thought! Just kidding, I love your critical thoughts! I promise I will make more unique plot twists in the future, but this was necessary!**

** And also, I apologize to anyone who was like, "Oh snap, they all just went preggo!" and all that, but I mean, I can't be the only one who has ever contemplated pickles with peanut butter before smacking myself in the face, chucking it back into my fridge and racing to my room to go emo for an hour while slowly munching on a king-sized chocolate bar! No? I'm the only one? Dammit...**

** Now our characters are gonna be discombobulated beyond belief! Holy *** of a ****! **** a duck with all that ****! Ok, I'm done.**

** Next up: Sealand and Latvia! And a new guest!**

**Translations:**

**Bog Chert Voz' mi= God Dammit**

**Расія= Russia**

**Review and Rate! R&R, only it benefits the most important person I know: ME! No, I'm not egotistical...**

**Wait a minute, I'm still looking at my beautiful self in the mirror I always carry with me... **


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Won't own. Hetalia not mine. Thank you. *snaps* Best poem ever.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: A New World**

The small clicks of tiny heels echoed through the house as a small girl carrying a large bag walked towards the guest rooms. Her short blonde hair lightly bounced as she travelled down the hallway, until she finally reached her destination. She smiled softly to herself before knocking on the door.

After hearing a quiet and obstructed invitation inside, she turned the doorknob and entered the guest bedroom, where she saw a pigtailed blonde wearing a light nightgown having a meltdown, complete with sobbing, screaming, and chucking pillows at a frantic Latvian boy, who expertly dodged them with the grace of a dancer.

"Oh," Pillow thrown and dodged, "Liechtenstein," dodge, "you're," jump, "here!" duck.

The girl in question smiled and nodded, then turned to the hysterical child on the bed.

"Sealand?" Sealand looked up at the sound of her name and blanched. She then looked over at Latvia, who was giggling nervously. Back at Liechtenstein. Back to Lavia. Liechtenstein. Latv-

Sealand tackled Latvia to the ground and began screaming at him, "WHY DID YOU INVITE SOMEONE HERE? I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS! BLOODY-"

"Sealand!" a small cry came from Liechtenstein, who had watched the two while chuckling to herself about how cute they looked, "it's ok! Latvia made me swear to secrecy, so let him breath again!"

The Sealander looked down to see Latvia grasping at his shirt collar, which she dropped immediately after realizing what she had done.

"Oh my gosh, Latvia... I'm sorry," she apologized, looking down in embarrassment and self-disgust and moving off the Latvian's stomach in favor of the floor. Latvia's lips were upturned as he gave a hum of forgivness, exiting the room to let Liechtenstein take over.

Once he had closed the guest room door behind him, Latvia slid to the floor and undid the top few buttons of his militaryshirt. He let out a sigh, hoping that Liechtenstein could help Sealand with her new 'problem', as they had decided to refer to it.

He regained his breath there for a minute, then decided to go bake the girls some pīrāgs, that he was proud to say he could make in under thirty minutes if he had the ingredients preprepared (which he did).

* * *

As soon as the door shut behind Latvia, Liechtenstein sprung into action, grabbing Sealand's arm and dragging her to the bed. The other girl yelped in surprise as the Germanic child sat her down on the bed and heaved her bag on next.

"What are you-"

"Shhh," Liechtenstein hushed the other, already scrounging around inside her bag for whatever it was she had brought over.

Sealand sat obediently on the edge of the bed, swinging her feet back and forth as she waited with growing impatience for the other to find what she was looking for.

"Aha!" Liechtenstein popped up from her bag with a small box full of square packets. She handed them to a reluctant Sealand, "Use these when your on your peri-"

"NOPE! Please don't use that word for me; it's embarrassing!" Sealand flushed a deep shade and his her face in her hair.

Liechtenstein tilted her head in confusion, "Why not? It's a normal thing; every gir- oh, I see. Sorry," She then got back to work, "now, what to do with your hair and face?"

"What?"

Sealand was suddenly pulled off the bed and dragged to the bathroom, where Liechtenstein sped into with her. The screams could be heard throughout the house.

* * *

Latvia pulled out his sixty Speķa Pīrāgi's and smiled softly to himself. Sure, sixty was a lot, but he had been in a surprisingly good mood, all things considered. He set them on the oven-top to cool down and went to his room to change out of his now flour-coated shirt.

Sealand walked awkwardly down the hall in her new shoes, occasionally having to lean onto Liechtenstein to regain balance.

The duo passed by an ajar door, where Sealand became frozen in her spot. Liechtenstein was yanked back suddenly, and looked wide-eyed at the Sealander.

"Why did you stop? Sealand, what are you looking at..." Liechtenstein's voice faded as Sealand was transported into another world completely.

Latvia lifted his shirt over his head, clearly displaying his scarred skin that had come from centuries of war and hardship; it didn't seem to match his usual scared demeanor that had always made him seem younger than he really was. The Latvian's bare skin seemed to sparkle as Sealand stared at him.

'I want to feel his scars... Just to see if they're real,' He ruffled a hand through his hair before turning and seeing Sealand.

His eyes widened when he saw what she was wearing. Liechtenstein had decided to give her a form fitting sailor-esque dress, her hair pulled into two ponytails that drew attention to her cerulean orbs. Latvia couldn't help but stare at the sky blue eyes that stared back at him; he was lost in their depths.

'When I look at her, I picture the ocean...'

'He keeps me grounded and connected to reality...'

'... And I actually really lo-'

A pair of bright green eyes cut in between them, successfully interrupting their moment.

That's when they realized the fact that they had slowly moved closer to one another until they were nearly touching. Liechtenstein was to the right of them, looking pleased with Sealand's makeover. Latvia finally remembered that he was topless and flushed a deep red.

The duo broke away from each other, mumbling about not realizing what had happened.

Liechtenstein took this as her cue to push Sealand out of the room, calling behind her shoulder to Latvia, "We'll be in the kitchen waiting for you!", before dragging a shell-shocked Sealand away, leaving Latvia waving goodbye with a look of shock on his face.

Setting the nearly comatose Sealander onto a chair, Liechtenstein went to wash her hands, smirk on her face as she thought, "My plan really did work!'

* * *

**A/N: I don't know what to say about this... Am I proud of it or embarrassed by it? I don't know. I really don't. Ok, I lied, I love this chapter! But it's just because of adorably moe LatSea love!**

**Next: England and his harem *shot***

** Ok, that was out of line... But it was still funny, am I right?am I right? I'm wrong? Shi- *double shot* NO SWEARING!**

**No translations! So weird...**

**oh wait, here they are! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HIDE FROM ME?**

** Speķa Pīrāgi= 'Bacon Pies' or small pieces of bread handmade for special occasions. That's why they use recipes with a serving size of 60... Latvian food is really fatty! **

**Review or else Liechtenstein might get trigger-happy! And trust me, she learnt from the best! *shot* See what I did there?**


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I disclaim that this Hetalia does not belong to me! Disclaiming is my middle name! Disclaiming and I are like hamburgers and buns or ramen and chopsticks or pasta and tomatoes or... This is all food, isn't it?**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Scary Canucks!**

After knocking out a frantic France with her awesome pony, America turned to her brother/father-thingy and smirked.

"Was that awesome or was that awesome?" America asked a shocked England, who simply stared in shock. America laughed boisterously, "I'll take that as a HELL YEAH!"

Finally regaining his sense, England grabbed America's hands and smacked the tops of them. America cried out in surprise (not pain because heroines are invincible!) and yelled, "What was that for, Iggy?"

England growled, "You just KNOCKED OUT FRANCE! Do you even think about what you're doing half the time?" America shrugged.

"I dunno," she smirked, "just seemed like fun!" The Brit face-palmed before carrying France bridal-style to the couch, where he dropped her to the furniture. After all, he was a gentleman, but even he wasn't THAT much of a gentleman.

Afterwards, Britain returned to the American, who was now napping on the couch, and smacked her on the forehead. America immediately woke up and clutched her head, letting out a surprised (not scared or hurt; hell nah!) yelp.

"Damn you, Iggmeister!" America growled in her still half-asleep state. England grimaced at his nickname, but quickly recovered when he remembered who would be arriving soon. He began to chuckle darkly, eliciting a shiver from his American sister/daughter what-the bloody-ever.

"Dude," America whined as she flailed lazily on the couch, "stop it! Why are ya laughing? Why?"

Turning sadistically cheerful, England hissed, "Someone's coming to see you...," trailing off menacingly.

"Iggy! Stop it! You're freaking me out!"

"A visitor... Coming to get you..."

"Shit, broham, that's scary! I'm serious!"

"I'm giving away that bloody pony..."

"Dammit... But-"

"They're coming..."

"STOP IT!"

A quiet voice whispered from behind them, "Bonjour, you guys!"

Two identical screams could be heard throughout Europe.

* * *

"Man, it's a good thing the Iggman keeps his throat good with all that tea he drinks, or else it would be dead from that girly scream!" America chortled, clutching her aching sides.

England flushed as he sat at the table with the North American twins, "I was simply caught off guard is all! And don't call me Iggy! Besides, your scream was much girlier, America!"

America squinted her blue orbs angrily at England, unguarded by her sudden 20/20 vision, "I AM a girl, England."

Sheepishly, England stood from his spot and chuckled before racing to his basement to begin looking for the cure. Quickly.

Canada turned to his bro- his SISTER with a soft smile lacing his face, "So, America, you know why I'm here, right?"

America cackled, "Of course I do, Canadadia!" Canada sighed as the American continued, "you're here to prank Iggerton!"

"No," Canada replied, rolling his eyes at his sister's idiocy. Really? It wasn't that hard.

"Uh, let me try again! You are here to annoy England with me?"

"Nope!"

"To... Feed my pony with me?"

"No. Wait, wha-"

"Hugs?"

"No."

"To prank France?"

"Non!"

"Because you love your sister?"

"Of course not!" America frowned at this, but Canada stayed oblivious to her annoyance, "I'm here to help you with your... Little proble-"

"No!" America interrupted the quiet man's sentence, "no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-"

"You done?" Canada asked, an unimpressed expression on his face.

"Almost," America replied, "no-no-no-NO! Ok, all done!" Canada sighed. How come whenever England or America or France made a mess of things, he'd always end up cleaning it up? Oh yeah, because he was the only MATURE one in this family!

"I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not!" Canada yelled in his soft voice. America winced at his tone; even though she could barely hear him, she still remembered that three hour long insult rant he had given her. She shivered at the thought. Scary...

And five hours later, when England came downstairs to his daughter/ sister/ goddammit-let's-just-call-her-his-former-charge, wearing a red, white, and blue bikini top with a brown vest, short-shorts, and cowgirl boots- you can bet he found Canadia to be pretty scary too.

"Eh, America?"

"Yes, my passive-aggressive twin brother?"

"...I took a picture of you that will be used for future blackmail, FYI."

"...God, I hate you, Canadada."

"Love ya too, sis. Love ya too, eh..."

Yep, scariest creature on the planet. But damn, does he make good pancakes!

* * *

**A/N: FINALLY! I have been waiting this whole story to put Canada in! Thank the maple gods that I was able to get that offa my chest!**

**Next is: Russia and Belarus (and some other poor, unfortunate soul? Possibly...)**

** BTW, I finish these chapters really early on so that it is less stressful for me, then go back and make changes later! So as I finish this chapter, it is actually 12-ish AM on October 23! There's a derp moment for ya! Happy birthday! If it really is your birthday as you're reading this, then that was totally intentional...**

**Translations:**

**Bonjour= Hello (sorta self explanatory, but you know, here ya go anyways...)**

**Review for your free Gilbird! Yay! Piyo-Piyo! Ok, I'm done.**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my current MFing, painful-as-HELL migraine! You can take it if you want! No joke!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: A Farmer and a Pony**

"Mother of FUCK, Russia!" Belarus screamed in annoyance as she massaged her temples, "shut. Your. F-ing. Mouth."

"But-"

"Now," Belarus' tone made no room for disagreement; Russia slid down deeper into the couch in defeat. Belarus had gotten the worst headache she had ever gotten, and was a little pissy. Not even Russia wanted to be on her bad side, but it was proving hard for the superpower to not snap at her younger sister due to her own painful cramps putting her in a sour mood.

Suddenly, the sisters heard a soft knocking on the door, which sufficiently ended their argument.

Growling at the growing pain in her head, Belarus trudged to the door and opened it unceremoniously, only to back up in surprise and shock.

There in Belarus' doorway sat Ukraine on top of a circus pony, decorated with stunning red, white, and blue dyeing its hair. The Ukrainian woman was smiling brightly and waved down to her two shocked sisters. Then it registered.

"Russia? Is that you?" She asked, surprised at her former brother's new appearance. Russia nodded her head before grimacing in pain at another wave of cramps.

Belarus was frozen in shock. She looked up at her sister and asked slowly, "Why is a pony on my porch?" Ukraine smiled softly and pet her steed softly.

"I got this from England! He said something about a nice farmer who works all day and needs a friend, or something like that. I don't really know; England is silly like that! But I think he could be a good frien-" She was cut off by Russia letting out a cry of pain.

She jumped off of her horse (renamed Nimyy̆ Koni by her) and rushed to her sister's side, aiding her in reentering the house. Belarus watched this scene and slowly shook her pounding head; god, her family was weird.

* * *

Ukraine was sobbing at their dining room table, "I'm so sorry that none of my shirts fit you! If I could help you more, then I would! My poor baby sister has to go without clothing all because her older sibling cannot afford to buy her the necessities that she needs to survive! What kind of a sister am I? I wouldn't be surprised if you hated me! Meni duzhe shkod-"

"I am fine, Ukraine!" Russia interrupted her big sister's rant, "I went to the store yesterday and purchased myself clothing. I would just like advice about... You know... My..." The Russian woman trailed off, turning a bright red color.

"You mean your period?" Belarus deadpanned before being smacked on the head by Ukraine for her crudeness.

If it were possible, Russia grew ten shades darker than she already was.

"Y-yes... That," the Russian continued, "I am just confused about that topic in particular." Ukraine and Belarus stared at her, at each other, back at her... And then burst into a fit of laughter, complete with rolling on the floor.

Ukraine tried hard to stifle her laughter, as not to hurt her younger sibling's feelings, but one look at Russia's steaming face was enough to force the giggling out of her.

Belarus, on the other hand, made no move to hide her amusement, and instead cackled loudly whilst holding onto her stomach in an attempt to calm herself. Her poor attempt ultimately failed and sent her into another fit of laughter.

Upset at her sisters' lack of respect for her, Russia rose quickly from her seat, knocking over her chair in the process. She slammed her hands down onto the table, her now-long platinum blonde hair flying behind her. The loud noise got her two sister's attention, causing them to silence in shock.

"This is not a joke! Jokes are funny, not painful and confusing and scary and-" Russia cut herself off, clamping a hand over her mouth in a failed attempt to take back the words she said; the words that entailed her weakness. But, they were already said.

Ukraine and Belarus felt their hearts clench with worry and sadness at seeing their sibling trip over her own feet in her haste to get upstairs. They could hear her loud footsteps and the final slam of a bedroom door.

The duo turned to each other and nodded in a mutual agreement; they would help their sister through this. If only they could get that damned horse to stop eating Belarus' throw pillows.

* * *

**A/N: Wow... That was... Depressing. Thought that would end differently, but... Guess my brain was feeling melancholic, or something. **

**Translations:**

**Nimyy̆ Koni= Dumb Pony (secretly, Ukraine dislikes the horse. She's just keeping it to be nice. I shall later elaborate.)**

**Meni Duzhe Shkod-= I'm Very Sorry (full word is Meni Duzhe Shkoda)**

**Next up: Germany and Italy, who will finally make a reappearance! Ve~!**

**Review for magic and glitter and epicness. And awesome (hinthint)**

**(HINTHINT)**

**(HINT. HINT.)**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I started writing this late... Well, as late as you can be when you're writing a month or so in advance... You know what, I'm actually not that late! I don't own Hetalia.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Flirt-mano**

After passing out for a couple of hours, Germany had decided to make a list of the things she would need.

"ITALY!" she bellowed angrily at the small Italian, "listen to my list and- PUT DOWN THAT PASTA!"

Italy protested, "But Germany! This is your dinner I'm making right no-"

"PUT IT DOWN!" At the woman's fire breathing growl, Italy chucked his pot of fettuccine across the room at a wall. The bowl immediately smashed apart at the force, splashing water and noodles everywhere. Germany felt her eye twitch.

"I am very good at lists, Italy," Germany sang with a extremely fake smile stretched across her face. Italy mentally screamed and outwardly nodded, "would you like to read my good lis-"

"YES!" was the automatic response, it's desperation hidden under a thin layer of Italian joy. He wouldn't dare defy Germany when she was like this; PMS-ing.

She began to read from said list:

_Things I Need_

_Pads_

_This... Is very embarrassing_

_Undergarments_

_Deodorant_

_Sadly, it must be from the women's aisle_

_Toothbrush_

_Toothpaste_

_The brand name kind, as always_

_Brush _

_Comb_

_Both_

_Hair ties_

_Or maybe I'll just hack it all off_

_Yes, that seems reasonable_

_Scissors_

_Or a chainsaw_

_Hell, I'll just use the lawn mower_

_Wurst_

_Potatoes_

_German Torte Cake_

_Pickles for a cake topper_

_Hamburger_

_Bolognese for my hamburger_

_Scones-_

"Italy?" Germany looked down at the loud thud that had sounded through the otherwise silent room. At hearing the feared S-C-O-N-E word, Italy had passed out in fear. What had happened to Germany? And what could save her now?

Germany sighed and dragged Italy to the kitchen door, which, after the woman had walked away from it, a snooping Prussia proceeded to slam open. Right on Italy's poor, unconscious face. Well, Italy was conscious now.

"That's it!" Anger flashing in his eyes, Italy began to chuck random things at the Prussian's head, the other dodging and weaving while throwing objects in return.

Amidst all of the madness, the quiet chime of the doorbell brought Germany from her sulking. With a huff of air, the blonde woman stalked to the door and ripped it open, only to be met with...

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY IDIOTO FRATELLO!" Just great. Just gottverdammnt, Mutti- fucking great! "CHIGI! OI, Y-" And then, Romano's yelling stopped.

Confused, Germany returned her eyes to the man at the door, jumping back in shock at what she saw.

"W- what is this?" Germany cried. In front of her knelt Romano, who was holding out a bouquet of flowers that were conjured up from seemingly nowhere.

Romano thrust the bunch of roses in the German woman's face and, with a smirk on his tomato-red face, began to flirt with her.

"Ciao, bella," he winked, "Fa caldo qui, o è perchè ci sei tu?" Germany blinked, not understanding the Italian.

"What?" she asked bluntly. Romano faltered for a minute, but spoke again.

"Se ti dicessi che hai un bel corpo, lo stringeresti sul mio?" With this, the southern Italian's smile grew wider. Germany could feel her eye twitch with badly filtered anger.

"Um..." The German searched for an easy phrase that she knew, "uh, non lo so?"

This seemed to shock the tomato-loving nation for a minute, before the same smirk reappeared on his face.

'I see,' Romano thought to himself, 'playing hard-to-get? Well, I'll just have to get my ultimate lines!'

He started again, "Sei il motivo per cui hanno inventato il ghioccio per raffreddare!" With this, he added in a wink of his dark eye.

As Germany's mind caught up to her, she began to pale considerably. The woman realized, 'Nein, Gott bitte! Please let it be a mistake!' Her revelation filled her with inexplicable anger as the suave Italian blabbered on in the background. Invisible steam blew from her ears as she finally snapped.

"Fottimi se mi sbaglio, ma vuoi venire a letto con me, n-" A book thrown at South Italy's head effectively shut him up.

"I. Don't. Speak. Italian," Germany growled deeply, fists shaking.

It took a while for Romano to translate her words into his tomato-filled mind, but once he did, his face turned the same shade of his beloved fruit.

"O-oh! I am so sorry! Mi dispiace! Mi dispiace! Mi-"

His Italian torrent was interrupted, "I still don't speak Italian," A blush from the brunet, "but it is fine. You are here for Italy, right?"

Romano's finally-cooled face lit up again at these words and he sputtered indignantly before giving up on his 'I-am-Italy-too' tirade with a nod of his head.

The German gave a quick nod in return... before slamming the door in his face.

He blinked.

Well, that was... Direct.

A few moments later, a clearly disheveled boy slammed open the door to look at his sibling. Romano stared in shock at Veneciano, who was panting as he held himself up using the door as a crutch.

He looked like hell had frozen over. Which, essentially, it did. A mad Germany was equivalent to such. Especially when Germany had just been turned into a woman who was now going the pain and homicidal-inducing shit known as a 'period'. Which was synonymous to... The point is, just don't mess with an angry German woman!

"Fratello, you look like shit!" Romano exclaimed as he took in his baby brother's unkempt hair and ripped clothing.

Veneciano simply rolled his eyes before glaring at the other, "Grazie, Romano, I definitely wanted to hear that. Come in and let me get fixed up, I'll make you some dinner." The younger one pushed the door open, not even waiting for his brother to enter before stomping up the stairs to his room and slamming the door.

Romano tentatively entered and set his jacket on a nearby coatrack.

Only one thought was on his mind: 'What kind of fucked up twilight zone am I in right now?'

* * *

Four people sat around the dinner table, all awkwardly fidgeting and playing with their food while simutaniously attempting to not stare at each other in the face. Soon, the silence became too much, and one person had to break it.

"MEIN GOTT, WEST!" None other than Prussia bellowed in his usual awesome tone, "You should move away from that horrible, ugly, stupid, weak, dumb, wimpy, sex-crazed, totally unawesome, related to France, uncool Italian and sit next to your hot, awesome, cool, awesome, sexy, awesome and awesome big Bruder!"

Germany sighed and facepalmed as Italy retaliated.

"PRUSSIA!" Veneciano growled and began to chase said Prussian around the kitchen with a large wooden spoon and an even larger lid. Thus began a kitchen sparring match between the two.

Ducking for cover under the table, Romano did a double take, "Germany?" Said German nodded her head before wincing at a loud crash from above. Romano continued, "what happened to my Fratellino?"

Another bang, followed by the sound of multiple containers spilling onto the floor.

"Truthfully," Germany began, "I don't know. It's weird; ever since I became a woman, Italy has been arguing and fighting with my Bruder- sometimes actually winning!"

Germany gained a dazed look as she thought of how the Italian had knocked out Prussia for a solid, QUIET three hours. It was nice, having someone to watch out for her. Not that she needed it.

Romano stared at her in wonder. Her changing into a girl had changed things, hadn't it? Italy was stronger, Prussia was more brotherly (although Romano was questioning whether this was due to his love for his sister or to the size of her breasts- ANYWAYS), and he was actually able to stand being in the same room as her for more than one minute.

It was weird. But not bad.

Romano looked at the blonde once more, before looking away with a small smile. Maybe it was all for the better, Germany's change; maybe this was fate.

"I'll protect you, bella donna!" shouted Veneciano.

Prussia replied, "Not if I awesomely do first!"

Or maybe this was just going to be a pain in the ass. Either one, really.

* * *

**A/N: This one was pretty difficult to write during a quick bout of writers block paired with my new obsession with Yugioh! But never fear! My Hetalia love will not falter! **

**And as I post this, I have a sore throat and my head is pounding! Bleh! I'll be all better by the next update though, so don't worry!**

**Next up: A meeting in England's rape cham- BASEMENT! In England's basement. Yeah.**

**And soon, there will be conflict! Stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**Translations:**

**Idioto Fratello= Idiot Brother**

**Gottverdammnt= God-dammed **

**Mutti= Mother**

**"Ciao, bella."= "Hello, beautiful."**

**"Fa caldo qui, o è perchè ci sei tu?"= "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"**

**"Se ti dicessi che hai un bel corpo, lo stringeresti sul mio?"= "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"**

**Non Lo So= I Do Not Know**

**"Sei il motivo per cui hanno inventato il ghioccio per raffreddare!"= "You are the reason they invented ice, to cool off!"**

**Nein= No**

**Gott= God**

**Bitte= Please**

**"Fottimi se mi sbaglio, ma vuoi venire a letto con me, no?"= "Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to sleep with me, don't you?" (Don't you got cut off)**

**Mi Dispiace= I'm Sorry**

**Grazie= Thank You**

**Mein Gott= My God**

**Bruder= Brother**

**Fratellino= Little Brother**

**Bella Donna= Beautiful Woman**

**Yay! Translations make the world go 'round! All of Romano's pick-up lines are extremely cheesy...**

**Review for HAMBURGERS! DORUFUFUFUUUUU! Ahaha!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Aw, you think I own Hetalia; that's cute, well I DON'T! Happy?**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: A Magical Meeting**

"Well," England began, getting most of the room's attention, "since you're all here (finally), we can begin!"

"Yo, Iggy!" a voice called out, "you look even more stupider than usual! Hahaha!"

"That was probably the most daft thing you've ever said, America!" Englad deadpanned. His reply was met with silence, and then...

"Thank you!" America laughed boisterously as she held up two peace signs to the older man.

"It wasn't a compliment, you twit!" England yelled from behind his podium. Belarus decided that it would be a good time to interrupt, and cleared her throat to speak.

"What the fuck are we all doing here?" She eloquently questioned as spokesperson of the large group of nations.

England was pulled out of his argument with the American girl to look at the people in his lair. It was naturally an odd bunch: on an old upholstered couch sat Russia in between Belarus and Latvia. On the young boy's other side was Sealand, who would swing her legs and hum a nonsensical song until she noticed Latvia staring at her, when she would blush deeply and turn her head away.

Behind the couch were metal chairs that held a silently fuming Germany and a surprisingly calm Romano, who occasionally said something to make the German crack a sarcastic smile.

Another two chairs rested France, who still hadn't woken up from her pony-induced sleep. She had hoof marks on her forehead.

Said pony, Nimyy̆ Koni, was being fed mattress stuffing by Ukraine. That dumb horse thought it was food. Dumbass. Literally.

Racing around the room were Veneciano and Prussia, who were fist-fighting as of now, after having been scolded by an angry Brit for breaking (apparently) important potions while trying to kill each other.

Estonia and Lithuania sat awkwardly on the floor along with Canada and Lichtenstein, the latter of which was given a cushion to sit on. Currently, the Canuck and Germanic child were having a quiet conversation about their personal baking techniques.

Yes, a strange group, indeed.

"So?" the Belarusian's voice shook England from his reverie and brought him back to the matter at hand. There were five nations that had somehow (France's fault) been turned into females, and only England would be able to turn them back.

From his research, England had concluded that the spell France had done had been a complex transfiguration spell that was even more difficult to untransfigurize. It involved almost all of his ingredients and some new ones that he would have to send his faeries out for.

England resumed his role as leader of the meeting, "Yes; you all are here so that I can update you on my progress with the spell. I've figured out that-"

"Bo-ring!" America yawned loudly, interrupting what would have become an hour-long speech otherwise.

"America! Don't interrupt, eh!" Canada shouted, jumping up from his seat on the floor to chastise his sister on her behavior.

Germany growled, "Maybe if England would just get the antidote already, we wouldn't be having this proble-"

"Germany!" Romano yelled in protest, "the Scone-Bastard is doing as good as he fucking can!"

By now, Belarus and Sealand were in a heated dispute about Halloween candy with Latvia trapped in the middle. Liechtenstein remained on her cushion and spoke to Prussia, who had let the girl hold Gilbird.

That damned Nimyy̆ Koni was now chasing Lithuania and Estonia around with a useless Ukraine on it's back and Russia trying to catch up with it from behind.

During all of the madness, Italy had located a black marker and was currently doodling a handlebar mustache on France's face while giggling and softly whispering, "Payback for stealing my Mona Lisa!"

Or something like that.

Then, it happened. Throughout all of the madness going on, someone managed to accidentally knock England over.

He fell onto the floor with a loud thud, which silenced the room. All nations had quit their bickering; even the dimwitted animal had been able to sense the mood. So had Nimyy̆ Koni.

England stood up and faced the sixteen people who stared at him expectantly. Most were stifling giggles at his mistake.

He couldn't believe it. It had taken him three or four days and 24/ 7 researching to figure out the spells components and they were all treating it like a joke. And now they were about to ridicule the only man who could change them back.

His face became a furious red, "Get the BLOODY HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Screw being a gentleman; if they did not want help he would not give it to them, "I WILL CONTACT YOU FOR THE NEXT MEETING!" Or maybe he would. But only so that they would stop bothering him. That was the only reason.

As soon as he had finished, the whole group (minus America, Canada, and the newly graffitied France ) had fled, pushing past each other to make it up the stairs first. And just like that, there were only four people in the basement.

England stood at his spot behind the podium and fumed silently. Sensing the dangerous atmosphere, Canada chuckled, "Well, we'd better go upstairs and clean our rooms, eh, America?"

"Aw," America began to whine, "but I HA-" At this point, Canada had elbowed his sister in the stomach and thrown her over his shoulder, much to her chagrin; she pounded on his back, to no avail. The Canadian raced up the stairs to freedom (and his room).

It was at this untimely moment that France groaned as she awoke from her deep slumber. She rubbed her face before noticing a black smudge on her fingers. She reached into her pocket for her compact mirror and clicked it open to see her face with a crudely drawn mustache and the words: 'Pervert' written on her face.

The Frenchwoman let out a horrified shriek, which alerted the angered Englishman to her awakening. He took one look at her and burst out laughing, clutching his sides from the effort.

Face lighting up with a bright blush, France screamed, "You did this!" before tackling the unsuspecting Brit.

* * *

"I am so sorry Estonia, Lithuania! I guess Nimyy̆ Koni likes you, or something! Please forgive me!" Ukraine cried as the horse continued to pursue the two eldest Baltic nations.

They both gave her a thumbs up to show that they were not mad, and continued to run from the American animal that was trying to get them.

Farther behind, Italy was combing through Germany's longer hair; now that he was taller than her, he was able to give her a head-massage as they walked. Germany unconsciously leant into the comforting touch, a content smile appearing across her face.

Right behind them was an enraged Prussia, who was being held back by Romano.

Prussia muttered darkly, "Touch... Mein... Schwester... Must... Destroy..." His crimson eyes twitched each time Germany would move closer to Italy's hand, and he would begin to shake.

"Potato-Bastard, get ahold of yourself!" Romano whispered frantically to the Prussian, Gilbird tweeting in encouragement.

Behind them, Belarus was telling Liechtenstein all about Russia- who was protesting to this extremely.

"...And then this one time-"

"Belar-" Russia cried, only to be interrupted by her younger sibling.

"Russia dressed as a panda!" Belarus continued her story. Liechtenstein giggled in amusement at both the tale and at Russia's reactions. She felt at home with both women, and if either got out of line, she had learnt how to shoot from the very best. So she was safe, no matter what.

Lastly was Latvia and Sealand, who were too preoccupied with their conversation about fairs and carnivals to notice that their hands were interlocked and that they were swinging their arms together.

* * *

Back in Canada's room, the twin nations were sitting across from each other, wearing identical grins as they found the numbers they wanted to dial on their phones. They were going to cause trouble. A lot of it.

* * *

"Hello?" A voice asked as it answered someone named Cambodia- Cantucky- CANADA'S call.

America giggled, "Ciao, this-a is-a Italia!" A question, "uh... My-a throat-a is-a bit-a sore!" A smack on the head from Canada.

"Yes, this is me," they replied with an unseen nod of their head. The person listened to the Canadadian speak, until they heard-

"We-a decided to-a get-a together-a! Me, Germany, Prussia, and-a Romano!" America spoke into her phone.

"The Allies are meeting up again?" An affirmation, "I'll be ready for next week!" On the other end of the call, two North Americans high-fived one another.

"Great!" both Westerners grinned simutaniously, "see you then!"

Trouble was-a brewing.

* * *

**A/N: Those mischivious doppelgängers! They're up to something, but what fairly obvious thing could it be? Oh, the suspense is killing me!**

**Not really, I'm the omniscient creator of this story, but... Yeah.**

**Crap! Sorry guys, I totally forgot what day it was! I did a performance this Friday and had a lotta fun! Then Saturday was like my 'performance hangover day'! So I sorta forgot that it was Sunday... Yep...**

**No translations! I have taught you all enough languages so that you can say meaningless phrases such as Nimyy̆ Koni=Dumb Pony or Mein Schwester= My Sister in different languages! I'm done!**

**Wait.**

**Dam- *shot* BAD!**

**Next up is meaningless buildup and possible teeth-rotting fluff! Or not, who knows? **

**Review for Estonia's mochi (aka: only) friends! Aw, it's ok Estonia! Hima-Sempai thinks that your the coolest! So, there's that! And I love you too, so. Yep. You are loved.**

**Au Revoir!**


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I -hic- totally... Own Heta-Hera-tabababa... (Only in my sleep-drunk fantasies do I own Hetalia. Most awkward intro ever.)**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Thunder**

"Hey Germany," a cheerful, but confused voice called out, "have you seen my phone?"

Said German sighed as she set down her novel, "Have you checked your pockets?" She could hear the rustling of fabric as the Italian did as she had asked.

"Yes!" the voice finally replied. The blonde woman looked up from her page once more.

"You found it?" she asked, a small beam of hope arising in her chest.

The voice answered from the hallway, "No! Yes I checked my pockets! It wasn't in there." She could almost hear his pout.

She groaned. Oh great, another thing to worry about. Her period had ended, but her anger had only grown since then. Until further notice, she was stuck like this; she was a girl.

"Well, maybe you left it at England's house yesterday," She growled, before returning to her book.

She tried to focus on the words in front of her eyes, which didn't seem to want to stand still. The small print blurred into each other, and her thoughts returned to her current predicament.

Here she was, curled up on her olive green reading chair, wearing a light nightgown and wrapped in her favorite black-red-gold tricolored blanket. She was actually finding comfort, considering the fact that she was now a she.

She had been forced to box up all of her male clothes to make room for her new feminine clothes, most of which were either dresses that made her feel too free or skin-tight outfits that made her feel too trapped. There was no such thing as comfortable in girl world, apparently.

Makeup was a pain, and she tried as hard as she could not to wear it. That, however, was difficult when you had a pair of Italian twins freeloading off you. The moment they had seen her with the hideously sparkly bag held over the open trash bin, they had tackled her. Afterwards, the duo dragged her to the bathroom and proceeded to, quote, "do what had to be done," and cake her face with makeup. At least, that's what it had felt like.

And the MANNERISMS! It was infuriating to have Prussia, who wasn't doing too well at being the model gentleman himself, correct her whenever she did something "unladylike," such as slouch or burp or groan, moan, or any sort of sign of imperfection!

She couldn't slick back her hair because girls don't do that. She wasn't able to have drinking contests with her big brother anymore because it wasn't lady-like. She couldn't do fucking ANYTHING because she was a goddamned GIRL!

Well. There was one thing she could do.

Quickly, Germany stood from her spot on the couch. She glanced at her watch and through the window, deciding that it wouldn't be dark for another half hour, which would be plenty of time for her to clear her mind.

The blonde pulled on a pair of shorts and tall boots, throwing a jacket on before stomping to the door. Without so much as a second glance, she called over her shoulder, "I'm going out; I'll be back soon," before letting the door shut on its own.

Prussia had been thoroughly engrossed in the television show he had been watching, which had all but evaporated from his mind at the slamming of the front door.

Confused, he looked over to where his little sister was sitting... Or had been sitting. She was gone. Gone... She had left the house, presumably alone, most likely wearing little more than what she had been before. She was admittingly very beautiful and could very well be taken advantage of...

"ITALY!" a now hyperventilating Prussian called in both fear and anger; hadn't he been so protective over his little sister, only for her to walk out so vulnerable, "ROMANO!"

Twin sets of feet raced down the stairs to meet him, arriving at Italian speed.

"What is it?" the Italians asked simutaniously, neither out of breath, "what happened?"

Prussia stared at them for a second. Weird. Then, he remembered why he had called them.

"Germany's gone! She left and we need to find her so that she doesn't get hurt!" Prussia shouted with worry, Italy nodding his head in agreement.

Romano fidgeted a little, "Um, I don't really think that's a good-" He was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering. Jumping in shock, he saw that the windows on either side of the front door had nation-sized holes through them.

He sighed in defeat and sat where Germany had been previously, flipping through the book she had been reading, "Idiots."

* * *

Germany had been walking for ten minutes now, and the sun was setting faster than she had expected.

"Better get home then," She told herself, pulling herself from her muddled and nowhere near cleared thoughts to look around at where she had wandered.

Oh great. She had ended up walking into a badly-lit alley. If Prussia or Italy found out, they would kill her.

"Germany!" two voices cried out, along with the loud thuds of rushing footsteps.

Well, speak of the devil. Or, devils, rather. The two nations ran towards her, both panting heavily. They wore identical expressions of fear, anger and... Something else she could not decipher.

Italy spoke first, "Germany! Why did you leave so late in the day?" A small burst of anger swelled inside of her. What, so now was she not allowed to leave her own house? She was a full grown adult, dammit!

She responded, "Italy, I-"

"Schwester!" Prussia growled, his eyes darkening, "You can't just wander the streets looking like th-"

"Looking like what?" Germany had finally burst, "I'm sick of all these damn rules you are trying to set! You both act as if I am a child, like I cannot handle myself! I have been an unified nation since 1871, so I can take care of my own goddamned self! I HAVE been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember; I've also been taking care of both of you assholes as well, so when did that change? When did I suddenly become helpless and w-!" A roll of thunder interrupted her speech and she growled in frustration as rain began to fall from the sky.

She pushed past the duo and began to run back to their house. Shaken out of their shocked stupor, Italy and Prussia chased after the blonde German, calling out to her to turn around and look at them; to smile that small, rare smile that she saved just for them. She kept on running, coat flapping in the wind behind her.

* * *

Romano heard the door slam open and decided to greet them at the door. He stood from his seat and walked to the door.

In the doorway was Germany kicking off her boots with a maddened force. He sighed to himself. Those idiots must have done something pretty stupid to make her this pissed.

Romano began to greet her,"Hey Germa-"

"Shut up." Romano did as he was told, and Germany raced up the stairs. Soon after, Italy and Prussia made it back to the door.

Before Romano could so much as wave, the two were following Germany's path. Romano sighed in defeat. This must be how that America-clone Bastard feels all the time.

* * *

"Germany!" Italy cried, "please wait up!"

Prussia blushed lightly, running right behind his younger sibling, "I'm sorry... I really am... So forgive me, dammit!"

The blonde woman stopped at her open door. She seemed to just freeze in place. Italy could just see her fists tense and-

_Smack!_

_ Crash!_

A flash of lightning illuminated the hallway for a mere second before it returned to darkness. Red eyes widened, bright blue was now navy, a hazel pair filled with tears.

Prussia blinked, his head having been turned to the side from the force of his sister's hand. A large five-star hand print was already beginning to bruise on the Prussian's cheek. Italy let out a silent gasp as his hand went to his mouth, shocked at his ally's display.

Golden locks hid Germany's electric blue eyes from view; she spit out her words as if they were poison, "I hate you. Both of you," before slamming the door in their faces.

It felt like poison; it coursed through their veins and made them sick. Sick to have let it come to this, sick of themselves.

The albino brought a pale hand to his cheek and lightly brushed against the sensitive spot which had been hit. His sister... His dear, sweet Schwester... She was... She was... Hurting. And it was all his fault.

With nothing else to do, Italy took the motionless Prussia by the arm and led him back down the stairs. He sat him at the couch and went into the kitchen to frozen bag of frozen vegetables.

Returning to the living area, he saw that Prussia was in the same state as when he had been hit. Veneciano sighed and placed the bag of peas to the darkened mark.

This seemed to shock him out of his trance, as Prussia took in a deep breath. The Northern Italian waited for something to happen, but it seemed that Prussia wasn't planning on spilling anything yet.

As soon as Italy opened his mouth to talk to the Prussia, a streak of white passed him and exited through the battered doorway, leaving Italy standing in the living room alone. The Northern Italian sighed in defeat and fell back onto the couch, holding his head in his hands.

"Ok," Romano seemed to appear out of nowhere. His arms were crossed as if he were a mother scolding her misbehaved children, a stern look on his face, "what did you dumbasses do?"

* * *

**A/N: Dang... Lotta swearing angst in this chappy, eh? Well, it couldn't be helped, now could it? We could see her growing agitation from the previous chapter, ne? Why are all my sentences questions? Wai-**

**So Germany is at maximum pissed-i-tude, Prussia and Italy are imbeciles who can't read the atmosphere (only occasionally), and Romano is the voice of reason. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?**

**I'm done with translations, unless I add a word I have not previously translated. I have retranslated so many words, you all should be fluent in at least German by now! **

**Next up is Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Nimyy̆ Koni and Liechtenstein! Wait, she went home with them? **

**See you next time! **


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Guess what I asked for as my Christmas gift? Hetalia! Guess what I got? A million dollars! Ahahahaha... Ha... Ha... Eh... DEPRESSION! ~~~("u_u)**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Girl's Night Out**

Ukraine sobbed over the phone, her words unintelligible, as that stupid horse chewed at her... Shirt.

Russia sat in her corner of shame as Belarus not only showed Liechtenstein her extensive, extensive, Very. Freaking. Extensive. Collection of Russia's childhood memories, including the bath time pictures. All of them.

Belarus spoke of one right now, "...And he would always like to suck on his own d-"

"BELARUS!" Russia whipped around, face as red as a tomato. Liechtenstein laughed innocently, as if nothing was wrong.

"-on his own doll, Mr. Sunshine," One of Belarus' thin eyebrows raised at her older sibling's expression, which continued to become a deeper red as each minute passed.

Two pairs of eyes stared each other down until Russia turned back around and continued to sulk.

She would have continued to leave forehead-sized indents in her baby sister's wall... Had she not been thrown over a surprisingly sturdy shoulder and kidnapped from her sister's home.

Well, it would be called kidnapping, if she wasn't able to hear Belarus and Liechtenstein's tinkling laughter through the knapsack that had been thrown over her head. Old school, huh. Nice touch.

She was literally thrown into the back of a truck. Well, there goes her spine.

Russia could hear a soft sorry; So it had been Ukraine. It figures, she was always the mother of the family:

strong and powerful. The Russian girl's head smacked against the side of the trunk. Her older sister wasn't always the best driver, though.

From inside the bag, Russia could hear the turning and screeching of tires as her sister burnt rubber. Silently, Russia prayed that she would be alive by the end of their drive.

Finally, the hunk of metal and death slowed down and came to a shaky stop. The long-haired Russian could hear the slam of the car doors and the sound of the trunk opening. She was suddenly pulled out, the bag thrown off of her head and the ropes around her wrists and ankles cut.

As the trio fixed her hair, Russia rubbed at her wrists fervently to get feeling back into them. Once she was situated, she looked around at their setting. So far, she saw a parking lot.

"What are we here for?" Russia asked them curiously, before smirking slightly, "finally planning on killing me? Good luck with tha-"

Belarus cut the rambling Russian off with a smack to the back of the head, which sent Russia flying to the ground, "Shut up, dumbass."

Russia glared at the Belorussian from her spot on the ground, when Liechtenstein reached out a hand to help her up. Russia's facial expression softened as she took the hand and stood up.

"So, why are you here anyways, Liechtenstein?" Russia asked, "aren't you supposed to be with little Latvi and Sealand?"

The Liechtensteiner chuckled nervously, twirling her hair, "I decided to give them some space, so I'll be hanging out with you guys for a while!"

Ukraine suddenly squealed with happiness. The other three ran to where she was standing to behold-

"You took me to a SPA?" Russia screamed in horror. The three girls nodded before, like a flash, they were flanking her on all sides. Belarus and Ukraine grabbed her arms while Liechtenstein held her from behind and they proceeded to literally drag Russia into the salon, much to her protest.

"Nyet! You cannot do this to me! I will not allow it! Put me down this instant!" The light-haired woman screamed, the others pointedly ignoring her.

It was a sight to behold, apparently, as the secretaries all looked at each other before going back to their computers, muttering about their only normal customers passing by. Or something like that.

* * *

'I am going to die a slow, painful death. This is killing me right now. My dear sisters have been plotting my death for-'

"How long have you been planning this?" Russia asked Ukraine, who smiled.

"Twelve days!"

'-twelve days now, without even giving me time to finish my will. I haven't even ended my bucket list yet; I have only done skydiving sans parachute and wearing a panda suit for a month! This can't be the end! Just end my miser-' Russia's torrent of thoughts were interrupted by Belarus. Or rather, by Belarus whacking her with a large foam nail-file.

"Shut up!" the Belorussian told her. Russia looked up in annoyance.

"I didn't say anything!"

"Your thoughts were annoying."

Stares.

Very awkward stares.

Then, all four nations burst out laughing, full of clutching their now-aching sides.

"Oh gosh! That was... That was-" Ukraine's sentence broke off into more laughter. Liechtenstein hiccuped, causing more giggles.

Russia had finally calmed down, and beamed brightly. This was wonderful! She was finally bonding with both her sisters and with another nation! As a woman, they were all able to get along! No longer would Belarus be obsessing over her, which would diminish her paranoia about Ukraine. Their sibling rivalry would be gone! And now they would all be able to relate and bond, now that she was actually a she!

Once it had quieted, Russia decided to share her thoughts, "Maybe... Maybe it's a good thing... That this happened, Да?"

The other three looked at each other for a long while; Russia shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the long silence. Then, the trio turned to Russia with identical grins on their faces.

Russia sighed in relief. Maybe finally... Finally, she could fit in. She finally belonged.

"After this we should get a massage," Belarus stated, "you look really tense, Russia."

"That's because I was trapped in the trunk of the car, you ass!" As the two sisters continued to bicker playfully, Ukraine and Liechtenstein simply smiled at each other before watching the show.

* * *

They got kicked out of the store.

Belarus and Russia had begun to throw nail polish at each other, and ended up coating the wall with an assortment of shades. So, a very angry and very paint-splattered employee kindly escorted them out the door and onto the curb.

"Well, that's a bummer!" Liechtenstein giggled, consoling the distraught Ukrainian next to her.

"That's the seventeenth time we've been kicked out a store! This week!"

Ukraine proceeded to sob into her younger friend's shoulder.

Meanwhile, Belarus was banging her fists against the door, screaming at the poor receptionists, who could only quiver in fear.

"What the FUCK is this? You goddamn BASTARDS better let us the fuck in, or so help me I will-!" Belarus ranted, only to be interrupted by what sounded like the tinkling of bells.

Confused, Belarus turned to see Russia sitting on the ground wearing a large, real smile as she continued to crack up. Liechtenstein and Ukraine were both pleasantly surprised to see this side of Russia, a side most believed was nonexistent.

"Dammit, you!" Belarus cried, grabbing Russia's ear and dragging her to their car, "we're leaving! Fuck you!"

"Ow! Belarus! Let go of my ear!" Russia protested, squirming around.

Belarus frowned lightly, "Thrashing like that will just make it worse, you know." And thus, Russia was finished moving.

Ukraine and Liechtenstein blinked at the spot where Russia had sat just moments before. Had it been real? Or had they just imagined it?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET IN THE CAR!" Belarus bellowed from the drivers seat. Both blondes shook themselves before standing up and jogging over to the car.

No matter how much Ukraine offered, Belarus would never let her drive again. Ever. Thank god too, because in her rage, Belarus had stuffed Russia back into the trunk. Therefore, Belarus was able to play blaring Belorussian rock, which easily covered up the Russian's screams.

So basically, it was just another normal Girl's Night Out!

* * *

**A/N: I felt like after all that angst from the last chapter, I should give you some humor. So here ya go! A fresh helping of Russia!torture for all! Yay! I'm such a good person!**

**Ok, that's the last time I eat sugar cubes all day! No joke.**

**Ok! No translations, because Nyet is obviously No! Dammit! *shot* NO SWEARING!**

**Next up is Francey-Pants and England (but only for a bit!) Plus, some France/Prussia buddy bonding time! Yay, 2/3 of Bad Touch Trio! Right now, their just the Bad Touch (or BT! Pfft, anyone else understand why that's so funny? Answer why in your review!)**

**Wow, I said ok like two times in this already! *guns go off* THREE TIMES, YOU IDIOT!**

**Hehe! Whoops!**

**I finish this in a salon, where I sit in a very plush and comfortable chair! Like a boss.**

**Bye! (Wow, what was I on when I wrote this?)**


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Well, I guess this is the time when I am supposed to say that Hetalia doesn't belong to me and that Himaruya Hidekaz owns all characters and the works, but instead, I'm just gonna juggle! *drops everything to the ground* Well, I guess I won't have a circus career either, so... QUICK STORY, BEGIN!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Intoxicated Laments**

"Mon dieu... It took me three HOURS to get that marker off of my face!" France cried in agony as she flung herself onto the couch in defeat, "why do you hate me so, Angleterre? Is it my beautiful and overall perfect body or my ability to make anything and anyone fall head-over-heels in love with me?"

England scoffed, "No, it's your modesty," before returning to his work (cough, Dr. Who, cough!)

"I know!" France whined, "I'm just so a-"

Before she could finish her sentence, a loud thud sounded from the chimney. Both her and England jumped in a mixture of surprise and fear as Prussia crawled into the living room smirking, "You better not have been about to say AWESOME!"

Regaining her composure, the Frenchwoman stood and sauntered over to the albino (now sooty) man on the floor.

Standing in front of him, she crossed her arms over her now-larger chest and snickered, "Ohonhonhon! Look what the cat dragged in! Or, should I say bird?" Her smirk widened as she took in her friend's casual appearance, "what the hell are you doing here, Prussia? And why are you dressed so oddly casual for this late at night?"

Prussia stood and began to shake himself off when he caught sight of France's choice of clothing. His eyebrow raised.

"Really France, I could say the same thing about you!" Prussia began to laugh, "Kesesesese! Why are you wearing those stupid footie pajamas that are obviously from Kmart?"

France shot a glare at England before returning her attention to her friend, "The idiotic Englishman forced me to get them! I wanted to go to Victoria Secr-"

"What- the hell- ever! Now, we are going upstairs to find you something that doesn't look like shit, oh and fuck you England!" The German rambled as he dragged the blonde woman upstairs to her room, not before giving England the two finger salute.

England growled at this and contemplated standing up and beating the 'awesome' Prussian to a pulp, but decided against it, so as to be the bigger man. Plus, he didn't really want any blood to stain his new corduroy sofa.

He could still hear the duo from his spot, though.

"France... Dammit... HOLD STILL!" the Prussian yelled.

"NON!" was the reply, "you CANNOT undress me! Ack! Wait! No! PRUSSIAAAAAAAAAA-"

England muffled her screams by turning up the volume on his telivision. He then proceeded to ogle over David Tenant. But, of course not, because that would be... Ungentlemanly. He only drooled a little bit.

Finally, an hour later, France hobbled down the stairs behind a gleaming Prussia. Her expression was empty and devoid of emotion and England was (not, because why would he worry about the frog) worried that Prussia had killed her.

It certainly looked like that, as the woman wore heels that resembled some sort of torture device, while she had been put in a skintight leather dress that England knew that she didn't own. England would have never bought her something so... So scandalous. That damned Prussian.

"Well, now that you are presentable, let's go out!" Prussia cheered before throwing France over his shoulder and kicking the door down, much to the Frenchwoman's protest. He then ran out of the new hole with a victorious laugh.

The room became deathly silent, until England sighed, "Guess I have to get a new door AGAIN! Now, where the bloody hell is my Sherlock DVD?"

* * *

Finally, Prussia set France onto the ground in front of a tall building. The blonde woman glared at her friend, who only smirked down at her until she realized where she was sitting. Her disgusted expression as she popped up and wiped the invisible dirt off of her backside only made the Prussian's grin widen.

"Kesesesese! Having fun over there, blondie?" Prussia cackled as France gave him an angry sneer.

"Fuck off!" France cried, balling her fists to her sides, "where are we, anyways?" She looked around at her surroundings.

Prussia took a second to prepare before he presented it, "This is... Nuit-tempête! It's the best bar in France!"

France shot the pale man a look of disbelief, " I didn't think you were that stupid! We're in England, not France!"

Another laugh from the Prussian, "Not anymore, we're not!" He whipped out his phone and displayed his location on Google maps. A large blue dot was blinking over France. The woman blanched.

"B-but, you were carrying me..." France stuttered in disbelief, "And the sea is-"

"Well, let's go in!" Prussia interrupted, picking her up again, this time bridal-style, and carrying her into the building.

* * *

The two now-thoroughly drunk nations sat at their table laughing at any and everything.

"And- and- and- and WHY!" another giggle from France before she continued, "is Ang-hic-leterre a-always YELLING at me? I didn't do anything except for continuously try to mo-hic-lest him since childhood!"

"Y-yeah!" Prussia whooped in agreement, "a-and Germany is really m-hic-mad at me for so-SOME reason, and me a-and It-aly are fight-hic-ing all the time to protect Germany and-"

"Wait," France slurred, her alcohol-buzzed mind faintly registering what her friend was talking about, "are you serious? Pru-Prussia? Is Allemagne really upsoot-sot-sut-fuck it, with you?"

The Prussian began to protest before giving up and nodding, "Ja, she is. She was all upset with me because I was trying to protect her from tha'... That perverted Italian! I don't trust him, the weasel!"

"P-rus-sia!" France hiccuped, "th-at's my cousin you're talking about! Or my little brother... Or my- he is a... A great person! A really really great person guy! So... So just... Just let 'im go and protect her- German girl- sister, yours! Ohonhonhon!"

Prussia thought about it and nodded. Then, he drunkenly turned to face his friend, "So, what about you? Why'a you come here?"

France tried to remember why she came, but couldn't seem to put her finger on it. She shrugged it off and began to tell the Prussian, albeit slurred, about her problems.

"I just... I'm so confused now... I used to be the most beautiful man in the world! B-but now I'm a girl... I'm a girl, so I can't be the most beautiful man anymore! So, does that make me UGLY? Does it make me... Ugly? No one even wants me anymore- I don't want me anymore! I'm just so confused..." The inebriated woman held her head and stared at the table, her shoulders beginning to shake with the telltale signs of crying.

Through his drunk haze, Prussia could see France silently crying. The shock at seeing such a proud nation reduced to tears broke him from his stupor enough to grab the blonde from her chair and pull her into a hug, kissing the tears off of her face. He cooed kind words to her as she broke down in his arms.

"N-no one w-w-will lo-ve me l-l-l-like this! I-I'm just u-ug-ugly!" She cried into his chest.

Shocked at this, Prussia lifted France's chin up with two of his fingers, "You will... NEVER ever be ugly! You- you are a... You are a very pretty girl, France, and I- I really like you," and with that, the two embraced, each taking drunk solace from their loving embrace.

* * *

"Now, where the hell is my car?" Prussia screamed after the bar had finally kicked them out, "that damned valet bastard messed with the wrong albino!"

France giggled, "I think you ran here and swam across the sea! We're in France, see?" And she whipped out her iPhone set on Google maps to show the albino where they were.

Prussia became somehow infuriated by the phone's presence and decided that it would be best to grab it and chuck it across the road to be run over.

"I don't need damn directions, woman!" He yelled as a sort of battle cry, France mourning her lost phone.

"Then how will we get home? Huh Prussia?" France questioned him angrily, "Are you going to turn into a magic angel and poof us home? Only England does that, Prussia! Well, Italy too, but that's not the point!"

Prussia took a second to 'think' (not) about what she had just said, before exclaiming, "We are going to hitch a ride!"

France groaned loudly and started walking away when Prussia grabbed her by her waist and held her like a briefcase, so that she was parallel to the ground.

"Let's go, dumbass!" Prussia cried as he sprinted haphazardly towards the sea. France was too busy marveling at the fact that a pale vampire was carrying her to protest to this.

France decided to ask him,"So, if you're a vampire, does that make me Bell-"

"Nein!" the Prussian growled, "I'm not a vampire and you are not Bella!"

France thought about this for a moment, until she finally understood.

"You're a wizard, Prussia!" She then got a dopey smile on her face and began to giggle at the man carrying her.

Prussia shook his head, "No, I'm just so fucking awesome that there are no other words to describe me! Now onward!" They were at the coast of France, ready to cross back to England, "I'm so awesome, I just got the power to fly! Follow MEEEEEEE-"

The Prussian jumped into the air- and promptly fell into the water, due to a little thing called gravity.

Prussia grumbled to himself, "Dammit. Guess I can't fly so well yet."

* * *

Once the two thoroughly soaked nations made it back to England's doorstep, Prussia turned to France and smirked slightly at her smaller, shivering form. She still had flushed cheeks, he noted, so she was still slightly inebriated. She always had taken longer to sober up, anyhow.

'Perfect,' the Prussian thought to himself, 'with my luck, she won't even remember a thing!'

With practiced precision, Prussia yanked the unsuspecting blonde into a hug before lifting her head towards his.

Bright blue eyes glassily stared at him, "W-wha' the 'ell are you doin', Pruss'a?" She slurred her speech tiredly, eyelids closing slowly as the two leant closer, closer, clo-

The front door slammed open to reveal a very agitated Englishman, "What the bloody hell are you two doing out here!"

"SHIT!" Prussia screamed as he shoved France at England and sped away, caught in the act.

The two remaining people could still hear his fading words, "Shitshitshitshit..." The words of a true man.

France decided to pass out right then and there, falling onto England, who struggled to hold onto her. It was quite difficult-seeing as the woman in question was slippery from their dip into the sea, and then their swim back to England from France- to get a good hold of her, so England laid her onto the floor before dragging her to the living room where he attempted to pull her up off of the ground by setting his feet on either side of her, bending down to grab her and pulling her torso to him.

Of course, at that exact moment, the Englishman heard a gasp. His head whipped around to find a traumatized Canada staring in fear at the two older nations in front of him.

His face remained fearful as he slowly backed away, muttering to himself, "So this is how nations are made. Poor Maman." England reached out to him, to no avail.

Giving up on his attempt to move the poor Frenchwoman, England returned her to the carpet before racing down the steps to his ra- lair to do more experiments and to escape his eternal embarrassment.

As he did this, he exclaimed the battle cry of a warrior, "SHITSHITSHITSHIT!"

Yes, France was surrounded by the world's strongest men. Obviously.

* * *

**A/N: NYEH! Long chapter is long! Yay, bringing back the angst! Well, that's not really a 'yay' sort of thing, but... Stop judging me!**

**Yeah, it took me a while to write this one, so APPRECIATE IT! Just kidding, but seriously.**

**BTW, Nuit-Tempête= Night-Storm, which alludes to a night club in one of my other stories, Locked. If you want slightly historical but extremely freaking sad(yet somehow I accidentally got humour in there, dammit) story, then check it out! [SHAMELESS ADVERTISING]**

**Next up is: Sealand and Latvia! And the angst don't go away! No it don't! **

**Ok, I'm just going to stop. Please review, for me. Or for yourself, whatever, I don't care... *crys in corner***

**See you next time!**


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do disclaim that Hetalia does not belong to me! I also disclaim that the new season of Hetalia is the best freaking thing EVER. That is all I have to say on the matte- GIRLY GERMANY! It's a sign!**

**Ahem. Let's continue on with our story, then.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Drama**

When they returned home from England's house, Latvia and Sealand retreated to the Baltic trio's living room, where the two proceeded to watch the television. Both decided to remain in their day clothes, Latvia wearing a nice shirt and jeans and Sealand wearing one of her new dresses.

Latvia sat on the couch, Sealand curled up at his side as the former flipped through the channels.

Finally, the two agreed on an action movie that both of them liked, and settled into their spots. Luckily, the surround sound blocked all other background noises, such as the two elder Baltic's screams or the incessant neighing of a demon creature.

As the movie picked up and became more action-packed, Sealand was drawn further into the storyline. Luckily, despite the movie being in Latvian, the English subtitles helped her understand what the actors were saying.

It was about a woman who was thrown out of what she knew when her older brother fought against the law, with a whole set of circumstances causing her to live incognito. The only problem was that the corrupt government agents were against both her and the man she had fallen in love with.

The blonde watched with wide eyes as the climatic chase scene occurred on the screen. She had long ago abandoned her place of being curled up next to Latvia in favor of the actors in front of her.

From where he was seated, Latvia wore a small smile. He didn't need constant attention; being in Russia's house for so long made him become very content with moments of his own. Plus, he loved watching Sealand enjoy herself. She had hidden it, of course, but he had been able to see the pain in her eyes when she was told that she couldn't speak with Sweden, Finland or the other Nordics during her transformation.

'It must be hard,' he thought to himself, 'being changed into a girl, especially at Sealand's age.' Latvia gave a small sigh, wondering how he himself would have fared in the other's situation. Thinking about it, he realized that he wouldn't be able to handle it at all.

He wouldn't be able to deal with the fact that he was no longer who he had known himself to be for his longer-than-average life, unable to handle the pressure that came with being a woman, everything you thought you knew changing; none of it.

"So strong..." He muttered to himself, all of his attention on the girl in front of him. She was bubbly, enthusiastic, outgoing, and beautiful. Latvia found himself staring at Sealand's azure dress and wondering what she would look like without it on. His curiosity grew within him and a new sense of primitiveness came over him, his stare becoming predatorial as he continued checking Sealand out.

Even though she had been extremely emerged in the movie, she had heard him whisper something and so turned around to face him with a questioning look on her face.

"What did you say, Latvi?" She asked him, confused as to why she had seen him with such a look of... some hidden emotion on his face.

Unbeknownst to her, the Latvian boy heard none of her words; instead his eyes were locked on first her large doe-like eyes and then her small, tea rose pink lips. He could tell she was saying something, perhaps a question, but Latvia didn't hear anything. His heart was pounding in his ears as he slowly got off of the couch and walked on his knees closer to the young girl.

"L-Latvi," Sealand stammered, "w-what are you doing?" She scooted backwards until her back hit the wall behind her. Her cerulean orbs widened as she made eye contact with her friend, who's violet eyes were darker than normal. It left a bad feeling in her stomach, looking at the expression on Latvia's face.

He looked primitive and hungry for... Something, Sealand didn't know what... But she had a few ideas of what it was now.

Latvia seemed to tower over her with his taller frame, and leant down to close the gap. He grabbed onto the skirt of Sealand's dress and pulled it closer to him, eliciting a ripping sound from the fabric.

He then dived for her neck, giving her a soft kiss which soon became a sharp bite, leaving a small indentation on her skin. When he had finished, he gave her shoulder another kiss, before attempting to connect his lips with her own.

Desperate to stop what was about to happen, Sealand held both hands up and curled in on herself. She let out a shout, "LATVIA!"

At this movement, Latvia was shaken out of his unaware state, gasping at Sealand's trembling form. She was in a defensive position, small lips shaking and blue eyes filled with tears. Ripped material from her dress laid in between the two; amethyst orbs memorized the scarring image of Sealand in a dress which had most of the skirt and the top ripped off, huddled against a wall and staring at him with an expression of innocence and fear spread across her face.

The older boy stumbled backwards, afraid of what he had caused. He was afraid, not only because he had hurt his best friend, but because he couldn't remember what he did or if he did anything. And this whole situation- the look Sealand wore reminded him of himself... when he had been a satellite for Russia. The look that he himself had worn for as long as he could remember.

"Sealand, I-" he reached out to grab her shoulder, but Sealand pushed him away from herself out of fear and ran outside of the room.

Latvia slumped down where he sat as guilt washed over him. What had he done to make her fear him? And how could he fix it? The long-forgotten movie played in the background as Latvia hid his head in his hands.

* * *

Sealand raced through the halls and into the kitchen, where she spotted a cordless wall phone. Punching in the correct number sequence, she let the phone ring and attempted to catch her breath.

While she attempted to calm herself on the outside, her mind was whirling out of control. They had been enjoying a movie together when Latvia had suddenly pounced at her with a ravenous look in his eyes.

'That was probably the scariest part of it all,' she thought to herself, 'seeing Latvia's eyes become almost black. And...'

As her thoughts trailed off into disarray, her grip on the phone tightened. It kept ringing, and she feared no one would answer.

After all, this was the last person anyone would ever think she would call for help.

Suddenly, the ringing was cut off and a brisk accent barked, "Hello?" At the sound of the man's familiar voice, Sealand collapsed onto the floor in both relief and exhaustion.

"E-England?" she choked on her words; when did she start crying? "I need help."

* * *

**A/N: Wha... What the hell did I just write?**

**Sorry for making little Latvi seem like a villain, he's really not! He's just a nation in the body of a hormonal fifteen year old boy! At first I had just had him almost kiss her, but adding a hickey just seemed more fun! (gosh, this site is changing me...)**

**So next will be a bit of a change of pace, but if you've been with this story long enough, you will realize that I don't actually have any sort of pattern to this!**

**This chapter took really long to write, even with no translations, so please review!**


	21. Chapter 20: FINALLY!

**Disclaimer: Holy crap, guys! We are officially on Chapter Twenty ! And in celebration of this splendid event, lets party! ...What do you mean, I don't own Hetalia yet?! I've got twenty frigging chapters! I own the world!**

**Nah I don't, I'm a loser.**

**Shut up self, no one likes you!**

***sob* I know... ([O])**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Intersecting Roads**

It had been a week since he had gotten the call from a... sick Italy, he had presumed. Now he stood outside of Germany's house carrying his small suitcase and his briefcase, walking up to the front steps before stopping.

The man sighed to himself before adjusting his tie and stepped onto the first step.

* * *

A week ago, England had gotten a call from Sealand, who had sounded distraught and afraid, calling out for his help. Assuming that she had watched a movie, gotten scared and called her big brother (for whatever hair-brained reason she had), he had gotten into his car and driven to the Baltic's house where he knew she was staying. What he saw there though convinced him that she was serious.

He had pulled up to the trio's home wearing an impatient scowl; England had been intent on keeping the twin Northern Americans and the Frenchwoman from completely destroying his house and all of his country as a whole, but was interrupted by whatever nonsense Sealand was about to wrap him up into.

Stepping out of his automobile, his frown darkened at the torrent of rain that pounded atop his head. For a second his anger was turned towards the rolling dark clouds in the sky.

England stomped to the front door in a childish fit of retaliation at his recent spur of bad luck- an act which he stopped once the mahogany door flew open revealing his younger now-sister.

Although, England wished that he had simply imagined what she looked like when she stood in front of him.

He took in her disheveled appearance, the jagged rip across her dress that revealed her lower thighs. But the thing that stuck out most to him was the look of fear that had been spread across her face as she ran out the door.

Her reddened eyes widened at the sight of the person in front of him. She stopped all of her movement and at this moment seemed to shrink before his eyes, back to the small sea fort he had built up with such care.

"E-England," she choked on the tears that ran down her face, despite the large smile that was now spread across her face, "you came."

It was only when he had stepped closer to the younger girl that he realized how hazy her eyes looked. A look of confusion set across her face and she asked him in a slightly slurred voice, "Wha... wha' am I doin' he- here? An'... why 'm I cryin'?" She touched her face, which was slowly turning pinker to match her tear-stained eyes.

Suddenly, a look of shock crossed Sealand's face, as if she had just remembered a horrifying memory. It reminded England of when she had laid in his house, fever coursing through her body as her whole nation was set on fire. That look of agony... Was all too painful to see cross her face again.

"Sealand, you should bloody well know what the hell you're doing here! You called ME to come and get you, not the other way around! I remember you had been so close to the youngest Baltic, Latvia was it?" At the other nation's name, Sealand looked up at her older brother's stoic face, a look of panic setting into her eyes. Her breathing became quicker and more ragged at this, and England's big-ass eyebrows began to blur together, "Yes, you too looked to be getting along swell, but it seems there must have been an argument of some kin- SEALAND!"

Through his incessant babbling, he hadn't seen the young blonde begin to sway, until her feet gave way and she crumpled to the ground.

England had reacted with his polished reflexes that he had gotten during his younger days, by scooping the young girl into his arms before she could hit the hard wooden porch that they were standing on.

First England checked to make sure that she was still breathing, then made sure she hadn't fainted, which she hadn't. Her steady breathing and pulse told him that she had just fallen asleep from stress and exhaustion. At this new information, he jumped of the deck carefully and set her in the backseats of his car, which were just long enough for her to lay down in.

After seeing Sealand fall down like that, he didn't want to spend one more minute near the house. But only because he was worried that he would have to deal with those Baltics if they decided to come outside. Not because he was worried about his baby sister, who was essentially his daughter in a sense. Of course not.

Looking back at the sleeping child, England found himself turning red in the face, "I-it's not like I actually CARE about your safety, I'm just taking you so that you wouldn't keep on bothering me!" even though he knew that Sealand couldn't hear him. If she could, though, even she would be able to hear how fake it sounded.

Turning back to the front, England took one last look at the Baltic Trio's house before driving down their road.

Now, Sealand laid in her room, the lights turned off and all of the windows covered by curtain. She would simply stare at the wall all day, a blank look in her eyes. It was almost as if part of her had broken.

England knocked on her door and waited in the hall until he heard was sounded like a welcoming grunt, which signaled him to enter whilst balancing a tray of food on his arm.

He set it on her lap so that she could eat and, with a sigh, turned and began to walk away.

Before he could walk out the door, though, he heard a weak sound coming from behind him.

"England..." Sealand whispered in her unused voice, "thank you." The man in question turned around and gave the girl a small smile before exiting the room.

* * *

One week had passed since their notorious 'Girl's night out', and Russia's budding idea of staying as a girl only grew.

It was as if, finally, she belonged. Being a woman finally gave her the friends that she had been looking for since childhood.

Russia smiled at her two siblings and at the small Germanic nation in front of her and came to the realization that this is what friendship truly felt like.

* * *

A short man stood outside the large estate otherwise known as England's house, a week after he had gotten a call from... Someone named Candida, or something of the sort. Not only did the mystery caller give him a bad feeling but the house itself was reminiscent of something from a movie; tall and foreboding.

God, that England loves his Harry Potter.

The older man let out a hearty laugh, a smile spreading across a young face that didn't quite match his age before he readjusted his bag full of an assortment of snacks for the current residents of the Englishman's home (and of course, a few of his clothes as well!)

Once he had finished this, he began his trek up England's 1,000 feet long driveway.

* * *

One week ago, Germany had locked herself in her bedroom, only coming out to use the restroom next to it. Everyday, Romano would bring her a slice of sausage pizza, a sauerkraut-stuffed tomato or any other type of Italian food with added ingredients to fit the German girl's taste.

And today was no different.

Well, except for the fact that-

"Get away from me, Romano!" Germany shouted, running from the Italian man, who as of now was chasing her around her room with the world's most threatening object in his hands.

"You're going to have to brush your hair sometime, Germany!" Romano yelled back, "and if you don't, then I will!" In retaliation, Germany threw a pillow at his face and jumped to the other side of the bed.

With lightning-quick agility, Romano chucked the pillow to the ground and flipped to the other side. The blond groaned in defeat, realizing that she was cornered.

'Why can't Italians do these sorts of things during war?' She asked herself. Just as she was about to surrender to the smirking Southern Italian, she saw the door, which was slightly agape. If she could get past Romano, she would be able to escape the extreme torture that came with both long hair and brushes.

"It's good you decided to give in," Romano began, "it isn't good for a bella woman to have wild hai-mmph!" His words were interrupted as a large pillow in the shape of a baby chick (god, Prussia and his weird... everything) was thrown at his face, Germany using the time where the brunet was flailing around madly to make a hasty dash through the door and to freedom!

Or, of course, to run straight into another Italian, who had just gotten out of the shower, as evidenced by the towel wrapped around his bare waist. Also shown by the fact that when she ran into him, he slipped on the floor, sending the two tumbling down the flight of stairs that had been right next to them the whole time. Not a very logical place to run into someone.

The two hit the bottom in a jumbled pile of wet leg, tangled hair and red faces. They could hear the sound of pounding footsteps coming from Germany's room, stopping at the edge of the steps.

"Wha...," Romano started, "what the FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Another set of feet raced to where Romano was standing, revealing an albino who soon became cherry-red at the extremely suggestive position his little sister and Italy were in.

Romano and Prussia turned to look at each other, then turned back to face the two at the bottom of the stairs.

Then, both were racing down the steps at top speed.

Fury blazed in the Prussian's eyes as he sped towards the Northern Italian with pure rage. He reached the bottom first, but was stopped by Romano, who dived on top of him.

* * *

Japan moved to open the door with his personal key; he remembered both Italy and Germany lecturing him about it. They had told him that it would be rude of him to knock, considering how close they were as allies. Needless to say, Italy strongly abused this ability.

He stopped, though, as he heard a loud thud and many voices screaming at each other through the closed door.

"ACK- Don't touch that, you bast-"

"I'll touch you wherever the fuck the awesome me WANTS TO touch you!"

Was this what he thought it was? Were they... Did they... More thumps, then another voice joined into the mix.

"Stop it! I'm indecent!"

"Don't put that in front of her face, asshole! She's just-"

"Can you get off me please?"

"Fucking PERVE-" All sound stopped when the Japanese man had finally had enough and slammed open the door. Both sides stared at each other for a minute before a flushed Japan slammed the door shut again, turning towards the driveway once again.

"It was exactly what I thought it was."

* * *

When China entered the house, it was like a ghost town; the entry room was empty and cold. The older man clutched his suitcase filled to the brim with free food and eased his way through the house.

England had always given him the creeps; he seemed to have an aura of a boy with his head so high in the clouds that he couldn't smell his disgusting scones burning. And that was exactly what the Chinese man had encountered upon (cautiously) entering the kitchen.

There, a blonde woman scolded the British man for his burnt 'masterpiece', as he so lovingly called it. She hit him upside the head with a whisk before rinsing the appliance off and beginning to stir a mix from the bowl.

China watched her intently from his spot in the entryway. Surprisingly enough, no one seemed to have noticed his arrival, England because he was clutching his tender head and the woman being wrapped up in her cooking.

Speaking of which... Over the many long years of his existance, China had learned that miniscule details were always the most important to take notice of; such as the way she held her whisk, her stirring speed, the gracefullness she seemed to be naturally blessed with as she danced around the kitchenette. It seemed incredibly skilled... Possibly too skilled for a woman who looked as young as this one did.

And her presence exuded both confidence and a romanticized wisdom, which was wise far beyond her years.

All of this was very mysterious... And China was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"ATTACK!" Suddenly, the Chinese man was covered in a now-constant flow of water, which was currently spraying out of the water-guns held in a pair of twins hands.

As soon as he turned around to get a good look at the perpetrator, though, they were gone; the duo had seemingly disappeared.

'It must have been America and that other nation right above him... Canada, I think,' the brunet pondered, 'but, then why did one set of their laughter sound so... Feminine?'

* * *

Canada and America high-fived each other. It seemed that with cleaning came discovery, as while the two had been tidying up their shared room, they had found two trap doors that led through the ceiling of England's entryway (for whatever reason.)

Then, the mischievous duo came up with their plan, Canada having smuggled in an assortment of pranking objects. The stuffy old Englishman was none the wiser. But it wasn't Canada's fault that he was a major mastermind behind some of the world's greatest pranks.

After all, it was hard not to go slightly insane while being around America so much.

* * *

**A/N: ...And I think I'll end it there! OH MY GOD, this chapter is the BANE OF MY EXISTANCE!**

**You all don't even know how long this took me to write. Think about this: When I started this chapter, I was 5 chapters ahead of my publishing dates. And now I have caught up to my publishing dates.**

**(O.o)**

**You all better like this chappy, cause it nearly killed me! So... Many... POVs, just... *explodes***

**So, you all got to see who came to join the party! YAY ASIANS! I have been waiting for this moment for so long! Now you get to see what happens! **

**What was Japan right about? You guys think you know the answer, but do you really? Who knows? Only me, of course!**

**China is suspicious! What will happen from here? And when will England learn that the only way to keep French perverts out is to LOCK YOUR DOORS! Because unlike Germany, England was not kind enough (or pressured enough) to give his allies a key to his house! **

**Ah, just like old times, eh? All my long-time followers get it! And my new-time ones do too... So... Yeah...**

**Reviews are great cutaways from my most embarrassing moments! Oh, and also, they cut to Japan's most ADORABLE moments! Which is essentially EVERYTHING!**

**M'kay, all done. Watch A Beautiful World please, I am so in love with it!**


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. We all know this by now! Unless... NO! **

**([-])**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-one: Rehashed**

Romano had wrapped his legs in a vice grip around Prussia's waist, jerking him around in all directions. The Prussian staggered in his walking, trying to shake the Italian man off of his back.

Finally, Prussia knocked Romano to the ground, where he threateningly leant over him, until the Southern Italian latched back onto the albino, yet again.

As a desperate measure, Prussia yanked on Romano's gravity-defying curl, ignoring the protests of both Italians that were in the room.

"Ch-chig-chig-g-g-g-gi..."

Well.

That was... Odd. Prussia had never heard the Italian make that kind of a noise, nor had he seen Romano turn that dark of a shade of red before.

It was totally...

"ADORABLE!" Prussia squealed girlishly before attacking the other's curl, "your adorableness matches that of the Latvian boy, Lietchenstein and, dare I say it, Gilbird!"

This seemed to shake Romano from his stupor, as he suddenly lashed out at the older male with a fury that not even Pre-Transformation Germany had ever seen before.

"ACK- Don't touch that, you bast-" Romano began, as he angrily pounded his fists against the Prussian's head while simultaneously kicking his back.

Soon he switched to yanking Prussia's stark-white hair as the Prussian used his teeth to pull Romano's curl, hands preoccupied with holding onto Romano's butt so that he wouldn't slip.

Which only deepened Romano's blush.

And his anger.

"I'll touch you wherever the fuck the awesome me WANTS TO touch you!" Prussia responded with a victorious smirk before again pulling on the sensitive curl.

In retaliation, Romano steered the Prussian backwards, causing him to trip over North Italy's towel, which in turn made Italy's curl fly in front of Germany's face.

The Northern Italian had a moment of actual embarrassment, "Stop it! I'm indecent!" while shaking his head around, the offensive hair smacking Germany in the face.

Romano became indignant at this, "Don't put that in front of her face, asshole! She's just-" His soon-to-be rant was interrupted by both Germanics; Germany began to speak while Prussia played with Romano's lock of hair again, earning his own hair yanked again and his head slammed onto the ground.

"Can you get off me please?" Germany (although she would never admit it) squeaked as she attempted to move her arms without hitting... anything important to Italy.

Prussia finally seemed to have remembered why he was fighting with Romano in the first place at his younger sister's question, and fought to sit up, "Fucking PERVE-"

The front door that everyone had been fighting next to slammed open, revealing the shocked and red face of a youthful Japanese man. The whole room was silent. Until...

The door slammed shut again, leaving the four roommates in an empty home.

They stared at each other for a minute, until Prussia asked, "So, do ya wanna get some food now?"

Everyone stood from their previous positions and dispersed, nodding their heads in agreement to Prussia's question.

"Yeah."

"Food would be fucking good right now!"

"PASTAAAA-"

"Shut the hell up, Veneciano! Tomatoes are obviously the best, dammit!"

* * *

And now all four of them were facing a Japanese man who was asking them all how they had fallen in love with each other.

Each nation had one thought in mind: 'What the hell runs through Japan's head?'

The answer is smut. Pure, unadulterated smut. The sick bastard.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaaaaand there! A complete rehash of the Germany part of last chapter, because life! And I just finished this today (Sunday, aka: my DUE DATE, gosh darn it!) Also, I LOVE YOU JAPAN! I'M SOOO SORRY MY DEAR ADORABLE OTAKU PRINCE! God, I'm tired.**

**Hopefully this will make things a little clearer for you guys! And to answer Mad Writer in Manilla's question about this, it's a mix of both! Something slightly inappropriate maximized by his Otaku-mind! And then in the end he obviously wanted to use this moment to create another shoujou (or doujin) manga! Obviously...**

**Gah! I am SO busy these next few weeks! This week I was cutting it close! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I went to sleep at 4:30 and woke up at 7:00 because LIFE! And this week I have an audition on Tuesday and Wednesday and so now I am being double healthy, so SALAD!**

**Happy St. Patty's day to all o' my Irish peeps out there! Wear green and be awesome! Although, not quite as awesome as ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA! KESESESESESESE!**

**M'kay, I'm done (geez, I really shouldn't write in the morning...)**

**AUF WIEDERSEHEN! **

**(Why am I speaking German on an Irish holiday?)**


	23. Chapter 22

**Edit: Goddammit, forgot a title. Also, I'm adding more.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, you would all... All hate me... For my very sporadic updates! Mahhh!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Lies**

America smirked as she looked over the extensive choice of armory her dear Canadadian brother had hidden inside his bags. There were so many choices that would be very fit for a heroine such as herself, but one object stuck out in particular. Her eager fingers instantly reached for it, hugging it to her chest protectively. She stayed in that position for about a second before she started bouncing up and down with unfiltered glee.

"Thank you so much, Candy-a!" America squealed, dropping her weapon in favor of tackle-hugging her brother, "you're totally the best Bro-Dude in the world!"

Canada's cheeks lit up at his sister's show of affection, and even though she got his name wrong (again and again and again), he was overjoyed that she still saw him.

And then, like a flash, she was picking up her novelty baseball bat, signed by her very own baseball heroes. In her opinion, they were just as big of heroes as Superman or Thor.

Canada sighed in content before picking up his trademark hockey sticks; of course, he would only use the best weapon in this battle they were about to fight.

And, the two smirking twins were sure, England would be none the wiser.

* * *

"Well China," England addressed said brunet, "I must say, I was not expecting your company. Usually, people would call ahead of time."

China quickly set down his teacup, "Well, England, I didn't come to your house uninvit-"

His words were interrupted by a large tray of French pastries being shoved in front of his face and the sweet smile of a French girl with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.

'This girl... She seems so... different from other humans,' China thought to himself, 'It is as if she knows all of the world's secrets and knows that you are thinking just that.' He was so distracted with his thoughts that he didn't notice when the blonde woman in question had begun talking.

"... And these are meringues, which are absolutely mouthwatering, if I may say so myself!" Her voice seemed to be filled with pride, as if she were a chef showing their brand new creation to someone.

Although, she could just be excited for both men to try her homemade treats. Which still left the question...

"Who are you?" China asked her. All sound in the room stopped.

Well. He hadn't meant for it to come out so blunt, but...

England and the Frenchwoman shared a look; one that was filled with fear and panic. Despite their constant arguing, both England and her shared a silent conversation.

'What the bloody hell do we do no-'

'I don't know, Rosbif!'

'Wow, even in my thoughts, you interrupt me. How class-'

'Not now!'

'Really, Fra-'

"My name is... Um, I'm Francine?" England shot 'Francine' a look that clearly was asking her what the hell kind of name 'Francine' was. A look which she adamantly ignored. Bitch.

"So... Francine," China continued, the name not settling right on his tongue, "how do you know my... Friend?"

England sat up at this, stammering out, "F-Francine... is, well, her and I are... She is to me-" A madeline was stuffed into the Englishman's mouth.

"We are lovers," France stated, voice deepening to a husky tone. Oh yes, this would most definitely be fun. Hell yes.

* * *

"America," Canada began, fidgeting with his hockey sticks, "are you sure about this?"

Said American lifted her head, face painted with football streaks. Her cyan eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement, joy and mischief.

"Fuck yeah, Candadia! I'm totally sure about this!" She prepped before racing for the large window. Speaking of which, they were on the third floor, next to a small bedroom door.

She broke through the window, front flipping while screaming, "GOD BLESS AMERICA!" at the top of her lungs. The panicking Canadian next to her had raced after her, leaping out of the open gap she had left.

"Wait up, eh!" He called out to her, "and stop destroying all of England's windows!"

"Haha! I'm too awesome for him to be mad at me! Plus, the heroine was only doing him a favor! Those windows SUCKED! Yeah!" America had been running backwards while saying this, and then turned back around to continue on her journey.

Canada muttered under his breath, "No one can be mad at you because you're cute, you hoser," running after her.

* * *

Back at England's house, a small bedroom door opened, a blonde head peeking out. Blue eyes blinked at the broken window before moving to the now-empty hallway. Something bad was about to happen. But what?

"Let's do this."

* * *

**A/N: Another close call, DAMMIT! But, to be fair, I had family over this weekend! **

**Everyone wish my brother a happy 17th birthday for tomorrow! That's why everyone was over, interrupting my precious writing time! Also I had a two-day audition this week, which doesn't really help my time-management plan...**

**And sorry that I had to reupload this, but hey, you guys got more! And also, next chapter is going to be extremely intense. I think...**

**Translations (You're back! I missed you so much!)**

**Rosbif= Roast Beef (French nickname for the English)**

**So with that I say have a nice day/night/ it'sfive o'clocksomewhere, so to heck with it!**

**Ok, I'm gonna stop now!**


	24. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: So, I don't own Hetalia. You can tell because Sea-Kun isn't one of the main characters. And because SeaLat is not yet cannon. In due time... In. Due. Time. Also, I must warn you, I do not know how sad this chapter will become, so read at your own risk.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Tears**

Sealand tossed and turned in her bright blue bedsheets. She couldn't relax. Every time she turned around, she would see a flash of violet, sparkling and glazed, staring back at her in a soft sort of happiness, as if she meant everything to him. But, if that was the case, then why did she never notice it until now?

This emotion; the one that surrounded her whenever she gazed into his eyes or saw his face or heard his quiet bell-like laugh, was love.

Love, love, love, that's what it was; she knew now what that hidden emotion had always been. It was the adoration that he felt for her. The adoration that she had pushed aside.

But, she loved him too, didn't she? Or else why would she be so distraught about this? Why would memories of him and her haunt her every nightmare. Her sleepless nights were filled by a boy with sandy locks and a quivering smile that always seemed just a bit brighter when she came along.

Sealand loved Latvia. And she knew that she had ruined her love forever, out of fear of him.

She had been scared. Now, though, she could only feel pain.

* * *

"What have I done, oh no," the amethyst-eyed boy chanted, pulling at his hair while hunched over the same spot he had been for already an hour, "oh god, what did I do?"

He thought back to that moment, when he was deluded and... When he hurt Sealand.

Her aquamarine eyes widened with fear as he prowled closer to her; she resembled a deer in headlights, a sort of prey just before being caught in the jowls of a beast. And then she was gone.

The young boy pressed his hands against the plain wall he faced; she had ran away from him because she was scared. He had ripped away her childish naïvety, leaving her fearful and torn, both physically and mentally.

She was gone; he was sure that she had left. He could hear the sound of the front door slam shut. Muffled voices sounded from outside. At least Latvia knew that she would be safe.

More safe than she would be around a monster like him.

Because only a beast would instill fear into her large, doe-like eyes. Only something truly heinous would be able to mark her body the way Latvia had. And he knew what this fearsome creature that had possessed him was.

That monster was love.

And Latvia knew only one person who could destroy even the most horrifying monsters.

* * *

The young Sealandic girl pulled at her hair, head facing her blanket. Salty splotches hit the light blue fabric as she let herself cry.

Inside her mind was racing.

Why was it that realizing Latvia's love for her and her reciprocal feelings made her feel broken instead of whole? Why did the memory of Latvia's tender care for her haunt her each night?

She clutched her bed quilt tightly and realized what it was, "What if Latvia doesn't love me once I'm a boy again?"

After all, that was the reason why he had fallen in love with her, right? Because she had become a she. Because she was now a girl.

The fear she felt was not knowing whether or not Latvia would still care about her when she turned back into a boy.

And she realized that there was only one way to figure that out.

* * *

"Latvia!" Estonia shouted at the smaller boy, "this is crazy! You can't really think that this is the best solution!"

The Latvian nation turned around to face the elder two Baltics, who shivered at the blank expression on the boy's face. Lithuania broke out of his fearful shock first and tightly gripped Latvia's shoulders.

"Why do you need to go there, Latvia? Is it really worth it t-" The brown-haired man was cut off when Latvia pushed his hands away with a low growl that both Lithuania and Estonia hadn't known the small boy was capable of.

"It will always be worth it," Latvia hissed sharply before his violent eyes softened to a watery hue of amethyst, "I hurt her. She was scared; I saw it in her eyes. And I have to find a way to fix it before it's too late."

And with that, Latvia was out of the door and driving away towards his destination.

* * *

Sealand knelt in front of her bedroom door, ear pressed against the smooth wood as she listened to the only voices in the hallway. One she could hear starkly through the door while the other was almost invisible.

She could barely hear the first voice muffled through the door, "America, are you sure about this?" is what she thought it said.

The other voice replied, "Fuck yeah, Candadia! I'm totally sure about this!" before letting out a yell so loud that the young blonde girl had to jump away from the door to avoid bursting her eardrums, "GOD BLESS AMERICA!"

The sound of glass shattering caught her attention and returned her attention to the outside. A few more words were whispered before the hallway opposite to her fell silent once again.

She peeked her head out of the door and first turned to where the sound of broken glass had come from and saw a large, gaping hole through the window. It was shaped like a certain American female. A certain American female that was going to be killed by a certain Englishman.

She then turned to the empty hallway in front of her and let her dulled eyes scan the surrounding area. They squinted in determination before she allowed her unused voice to cut through the silence, "Let's do this."

* * *

It had taken a while and the sky was now dark and filled with storm clouds as Latvia pulled into the foreboding driveway.

He walked briskly up to the door and pounded on the front of it without any second thoughts.

The door opened slowly and a tall woman with ribbon-like blonde hair smiled down at him, receiving a deep frown in return.

"Hello, little Latvi! How have you been?" He didn't respond, too many thoughts filling his head, "oh, come in! It's so cold outside and you'll catch a chill."

Without waiting for an answer from the boy, the woman pulled him inside, causing him to stumble as he tripped over the threshold and into the warm house. As soon as he regained his balance, she was gone into another room.

He could hear her voice, "Come on you two; Latvia came to spend some time with us!" As the three women entered into the front hall, Latvia crossed his arms and frowned, denying the Northern woman's claims.

"No, I'm not here to spend time with you. I need your help."

The tallest woman's violet orbs blinked in surprise, "My help? Wha-"

"I need to get rid of this monster!" The Latvian boy shouted, clutching onto the older woman's trench coat, "I'm sick of looking at Sealand and knowing that she can never feel the same way I do! I hate the fact that everytime I see her, I just want to- to- to do THINGS to her; things that would destroy her innocence forever! She's just a micro-nation, but I want her so badly! And it's all because of this beast that I've become!"

By now, tears trickled down his flushed cheeks as he sobbed, "Dammit! Dammit! Why can't I stop loving her?"

The woman looked down at the crying boy in shock before resting her hand on his back in a soothing manner and repeating, "It's ok, it'll all be ok," as he cried into her chest.

Russia pet the younger nation's hair, "It will be ok in the end."

* * *

Sealand snuck past the kitchen, where she heard France speaking about her and England being lovers or something like that.

It only made her feel worse, knowing that something like that might be impossible for her and Latvia to say when she became a boy again. That's why she needed to find out if Latvia really loved her or just the body she had become trapped in.

She snuck past the older nations and slipped through the door leading to the basement, where the answers she was looking for lay.

The Sealandic girl found herself in the place where England had always banned her, searching the room for what she was looking for.

She smiled when she found it; the smile was soft and held a trace of the sadness that she felt.

Then she went to work.

"Bubble-bubble-hubba-bubba-Barry-Manilow-owa-Shilo h!" She chanted, pink light swirling around her. Throughout the entire ceremony, her thoughts turned to Latvia, England and the five people who she hadn't seen since this whole incident began.

The glitter grew larger and brighter as she finally began to cry, her tears turning rose-colored and matching the aurora surrounding her.

Then, with a bright flash, the spell was over, leaving Sealand lying on the concrete floor.

The Sealandic nation checked the mirror for a male face, only to find a girl's reflection staring back.

"N-no!" Sealand screamed, clawing at her unchanging image, "no-no-no-no-no-no-NO! W-what happened? What went wrong?"

She held the hand mirror against her chest and sobbed, curling in on herself. Sealand didn't even notice as three pairs of feet pounded down the stairs and England's lanky arms lifted her up and carried her out of the room, leaving his spell book forgotten on the floor.

* * *

With the tears of two young nations, five people's worlds were turned upside-down.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?" five voices shrieked in unison, an oddly high-pitched sound for the home of these male nations.

Madness was about to ensue.

* * *

**A/N: WHAT IS WITH ALL OF MY HORRIBLE UPDATING? I don't really know Me, maybe you just suck as an authoress? MAYBE I DO! **

**[EDIT] /:Guess what. I'm really stupid. Because I thought that I had posted this last freaking Sunday but I didn't DAMMIT! So therefore, I have to upload it now. And you all get two chappies today because I'm an idiot!:/**

**Sorry about this late update; it took Les Mis, Rise of the Guardians and other assorted things that caused me to spontaneously burst into tears for me to write this sad sad update, especially on EASTER! Like, COME ON PEOPLE! Here I am, typing away and SOBBING because I'm such a horrible writer, giving you all these sad feels like this! Well suck it up because next chappy is gonna be the shhhhhhhhhhhhitaki mushrooms.**

**Hehe, you thought I was gonna say shi-**

**Today was the day that I finally got to eat chocolate again, thank GOD! And I am glad/sad to say that I have become OBSESSED with Rise of the Guardians (cough cough, Jack Fucking Frost, cough cough.) But it shall not deter me from this story, because seriously peeps, this train-wreck's not ending soon. Seriously. This will go on FOREBER. **

**Jk. But really, we are just getting started.**

**Well, y'all get to tune in next time to see who our mystery friends are!**

**Or not.**

**Depending on if I wanna spare you guys all of the guessing.**

**Hehe, just kidding. I'm either gonna zoom straight into this mystery or give y'all some fluff chapters (ship tease, anyone?) Maybe both!**

**Rate and Review, everyone! England noms them up like scones! NO DON'T EAT THAT, READER-CHAN, IT'S- fucking hell. Gotta run you to the infirmary (aka: intensive care, I'm pretty sure you're not breathing.) See, this is what happens when you brave English food.**

**Ok, Imma stop now. **

**BYE!**


	25. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia... Ok, let's just assume that I will never own Hetalia and be good with it. Hah. There.**

**I feel so empty.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Viking Rage**

A blonde woman looked at herself in the mirror, a calm expression hiding the turmoil gurgling within her. She felt like screaming, crying and punching a certain someone in the face, despite this not being that person's fault.

Actually, now that she thought about it, it was almost definitely that person's fault.

And that person was going to die.

The tall nation stumbled awkwardly down the stairs, not used to her new lithe and limber body, before tripping on the final step and hitting her face onto the floor.

She really couldn't see at the moment. This was when she realized that the lack of a stabbing feeling in her eye meant that she had forgotten to put on her glasses. It would figure that even in a different body, she would still be unable to see properly.

Finally, she found the person she had been looking for in the kitchen. Or, she thought she had.

They had the same large grin, held the same mug of beer as every morning and laughed the same annoying and completely idiotic laugh that made the Northerner want to smack the imbecile upside the head.

But that was where the similarities stopped. This was a girl and not a boy.

Not that the idiot would notice any change in either of them.

"Hey, my main man! How has life been dealing ya?" A loud chortle, "I see you're silent as ever, huh! Ever thought of speaking up more? That might be a good idea if someone ever tries to sex ya up or something! Hah! Although, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if a certain someone did, am I rig- UGH!" The talkative girl groaned as she was punched in the ribcage by a furiously flushing woman.

"Danmark," the woman growled down at the other before kicking her in the exact same place where she had already punched her, "you're drunk."

The other girl smirked from her spot on the ground, "Yeah, so wh-"

"And female." This caused the Dane to blink in inebriated confusion before looking down at herself and grinning.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about these things!" Denmark cackled up to the Swede, "THAT'S why I was drinking! To drown this sorrow away!" And with a bottoms up, she returned to her glass.

Another woman slipped past both of them, easily taking the glass from the drunk girl's hand and clanking it against her head hard enough to make a sound.

"No, you were drinking because you have a problem. I, of course, already knew that there was something wrong with you, though," The smooth voice of their Norwegian companion stopped Sweden from killing Denmark.

Both girls looked over to Norway, who stood there with her hands crossed over her chest and a straight look set on her face.

Yup, that was definitely Norway.

Iceland came walking in as well, just as straight-faced as her sister, only stopping in front of Denmark to kick her in the gut. She then walked over to the pantry and grabbed herself a box of licorice. She then found a seat as far from her sister as possible.

Denmark looked at the two girls in surprise at their easygoing nature despite being girls now, "Aren't you guys gonna freak out like Swedey over there?" A growl from the woman in question, "or drown the sorrow in beer like me? I mean, I guess if our little Icey wants to drown her sorrow in LICORICE, that'll be ok too, but Norge! Come on man- er, girl! You're just sitting there, acting like it's normal!"

The Norwegian girl shrugged at this.

And that's when a set of feet slammed down the stairs.

"What is this, why is this happening, what's going on? Why am I a- why do I have- what is this?" The person stopped once they had reached the entrance into the kitchen and stared in horror at the other occupants, "no... No-no-no-no- I thought this was just a nightmare! What is going on?"

Denmark cackled, "Thanks Finney, at least someone around here's freaking out!" The Finnish girl simply looked over at the Dane in shock and fear before freaking out again.

"Oh my- what do I do now? What is going to happen to me- us- how many other nations have been affected? Oh no, this is horrible, how will I go outside knowing that I'm a gi-" Her worrying was cut off by a now-dainty hand placed lightly atop her head.

She took a deep breath to regain some of the oxygen her ranting had lost and looked up to the Swedish-woman who had calmed her.

Finland's calmed down mind ran well enough to realize that- HOLY CRAP, SWEDEN LOOKED LIKE A SUPERMODEL!

She resumed her hyperventilating and lifted a shaky finger to the Swede's face, which was giving her a quizzical look well hidden behind her usual poker face.

Denmark finally seemed to notice Finland's newfound panick and stood up to walk towards her, "Hey, Fin, what's the matter with you? Why're ya looking a Sve like that? Is it-"

Suddenly, the Finnish girl was clutching to the Dane's shoulders and shaking her rapidly, while screaming, "WHY THE HELL DOES SHE LOOK LIKE A SUPERMODEL? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON? SVE IS LIKE THOSE MAGAZINE WOMEN AND- WHY ARE WE ALL WOMEN? WHAT IS THIS ANYWAYS?"

A hand came out of nowhere and smacked her in the face softly.

"Eh?" Finland held a confused look as she tried to figure out what just interrupted her rambling, until she remembered Norway. She took a deep breath and the other four Nordics sighed in relief; Finland had finally calmed down.

"It was you, wasn't it Norway?" scratch that, she was still crazy, "you're the one with all of those crazy magical powers and-and that troll that has some sort of vendetta against Denmark- you always hang out with England and-"

She was cut off again, this time by Norway simply holding up her hand in a gesture of silence. The group of girls waited while Norway turned around slowly, stoic face not revealing anything. Soon, Denmark couldn't handle waiting any longer.

"What is it, Norge?" she shouted, "c'mon! I wanna know!" And then the Dane was being choked with her own sleep mask.

Once Denmark had fallen unconscious, Norway began to speak once more.

"While you all were panicking, I took the time to channel my inner energy and find out more about this spell- curse- whatever it may be."

Finland sidled up beside her, "And?" She questioned curiously.

The Norwegian growled, "And this tastes British." The other conscience girls clenched their fists in anger and ran to their separate rooms to get ready.

On the way to her and Finland's shared room, Sweden chucked Denmark into her own room. The Dane smacked into the room's opposite wall before sliding down slowly.

Once everyone was wearing their usual clothes, which were quite large for all of them, they set out in search of England. Before pulling out of their driveway, Finland turned from the passenger seat to face the other three.

"Are you guys ready to kick Britain's butt?" she asked them, eyes glinting with a warrior's strength. Both Norway and Iceland became flushed by the look that the Finnish girl was giving them. Instead of speaking, the siblings simply nodded. Denmark began to drool in her sleep.

And with a glint of her glasses lens, Sweden was speeding towards lower Europe. The chase was on and the Nordics planned on getting the gold.

And beating up England would be nice too. Yeah, that sounds great.

* * *

**A/N: BOOM! Guyses, I finished this on Thursday! Can I get a round of applause?!**

**No?**

**Well, I have had a great spring break! And I am at a bowling alley right now! I'll tell you guys how I did once we are done!**

**So far, I lost the first game. Like, really lost. And I also lost the second game. Great.**

**Translations:**

**Danmark= Swedish for Denmark**

**Norge= Norwegian for Norway**

**That was easy. Unlike bowling, that I suck at.**

**Review for enough caffe to keep Norge-y happy FOREBER!**


	26. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, nor do I own Doitsuism, which I am a strong believer in. I'm Doitsuist!

I just really like to type Doitsu.

Warning: There is some FrUk ship tease in here, so if you are adamant on your hatred, you can skip this chapter. 'Cept for it's a pretty funny section and is not an actual pairing in the story, so you should still read it.

FOR THE CHILDREN!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: Cuisine and K-I-S-S-I-N-G

England sat in his lair/rape chamber, flipping through spell book after spell book to try and find the location of the new ingredients he would need. It had taken him forever to restore his red book of spells after those bloody gits caused him to drop it into his cauldron.

Now, though, he was simply trying to finish the potion that would make the reversal spell active. Stupid buggering spells, being so complicated. Sometimes he wished there was an undo button for these things. It certainly would make his life a lot easier.

"ANGLETERRE!" said Englishman winced as a loud voice called from upstairs, "I made you a delicious French dinner of escargot and frog legs! Come up now or else it'll grow cold!"

Bloody Frog.

Another voice called down to him, "You really shouldn't leave this woman up here to do all of the work, England! She is good company though; we've been talking all about our favourite cuisines, ahen!"

"Not that you would know what that means," the Frenchwoman added, "well, based on your cooking at least!"

And that was the last straw.

"France-ine! I am coming up there right now, and you are going to wish you hadn't just insulted my cooking!" England stomped up the stairs, completely abandoning his work station.

See, this is why he was unable to make any progress with the antidote. Sodding gits kept on yelling his name around. He was too busy being Dr. Phil instead of being Dr. Here's-your-fucking-potion-now-sod-off.

When he got upstairs, he saw that France and China had already started on their meal without him, chatting in between bites of escargot. The Englishman felt his stomach do a flip at the sight of the vile cuisine.

'That damn Frenchy did this on purpose,' the Brit thought to himself as he set himself into his chair and slid up to the table.

Before he could begin to choke down some bone marrow, though, France stood from her spot and walked around the table to where England sat.

"If you will excuse us, England and I must... Well, you know!" and with a wink in China's direction, France was off, dragging a protesting Brit behind her.

Once inside of England's coat closet, France turned to face the man.

"Have you finished your play-magic yet?" she questioned tersely. Britain sputtered incoherently at this, attempting and failing at forming a response to this, "yes or no?"

Finally he found one, "What the hell do you think I've been doing all of this time, Frog? It's not just a wave of a wand and then presto!"

"Actually, it sort of is," the Frenchwoman responded.

"Fuck off," England yelled before regaining his composure, "now, as I was saying, I do not know how long it will take me to complete, so you just need to calm down and-"

"Calm down?" France growled in an uncharacteristic show of anger, "how can you tell me to calm down when this spell is RUINING US! I can obviously manage, but have you seen Sealand? She has been a wreck ever since whatever happened to her at the Baltics. First she passes out at their doorstep and now she has panic attacks whenever she sees her reflection! The last thing I've heard about Germany is that she had locked herself in her room and only spoke to Romano. ROMANO! Italy and Prussia are fighting and America- well, she's the same as always. The only person to have benefit from this is Russia! I swear, if that antidote isn't done by the end of this week, then-"

She was interrupted by the sound of nearing footsteps, "Francine, are you two ok in there, aru?"

England began to curse under his breath before being cut off by a pair of- oh god.

France wrapped herself around the struggling Brit just as the closet door was swung open.

A Chinese man stood on the other side staring at a red-faced England and 'Francine' making out in an armoire.

"A-ah, I'll just... give you two some... privacy, then... aru..." And just like that, he was gone.

Once the sound of China's footsteps had faded away, both nations broke apart, each childishly spitting out the other's 'cooties'.

"You- just- HAD to make it seem like we were- snogging each other, didn't you?"

"Angleterre, your breath smells like burnt scones and hidiousness."

"Fuck you! And I could taste your shitty 'blood pudding'- ugh, I feel dead inside."

"-also, you need to comb your hair in the mornings and-"

"-you always sneak into my room at night-"

"-you have no style-"

"-bloody pervert-"

"I HATE YOU!" Both screamed at each other simultaneously before resuming their kissing.

From the kitchen, China sighed, "Ah, young love..." and took a sip of tea.

* * *

A/N: What the hell did I just write? I don't even remember, it's all just a big blur...

It seems as if England and France really care for each other. Sexually.

(I had to, don't shoot me-)

Next chappy is gonna be another fluffy, nonsense chappy! Just so y'all know, there is no established FrUk in this (if ya wanna pretend this is, then fine, but I don't wanna give Iggy to anyone for this story- don't need no disputes in the comments!) To sooth the fires, I will reveal that next chappy may have some UsUk ship tease, if you're all good! And it for sure will have some mischievous twin power! Yeah!

Translations:

Escargot= Snail

Frog Legs= Frog Legs

Blood Pudding= Disgustingly-named shit that probably tastes good, but I don't wanna try (but I sorta do wanna try it...)

Bone Marrow= Bone Marrow which people actually eat, I don't even-

I really wanna try weird cuisines, just because of how much it scares me.

Review for one million American flags, made in China (it's funny because it's true!)


	27. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, Greece and Turkey would have a whole episode of them dancing to Sexy Bitch. Hell. Fucking. Yes.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Pranks-a-Millions**

"America," Canada shouted, "what are we doing outside of Germany's house?" The American looked back at her brother with a confused look on her face.

"What? Did you say something? I think it was the wind or something..." America spoke in her boisterous voice, "and really, I'm ashamed of you Canned-uh!"

"W-what?" the Canadian stuttered in reply.

The blonde girl huffed under her breath and turned to face her twin brother, "I mean, you haven't even asked why we are here in Germany-"

"-I just asked that-"

"-what our mission was-"

Canada was growing irritated, "-I've been asking you-"

"-or any other important questions-"

"I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!" Canada yelled quietly.

America began to pace back and forth, "I mean, I get it. I'm the amazingly hot and heroic America- you're you. I understand that you're a little shy, meeting your heroine for the first time-"

"I'VE KNOWN YOU MY WHOLE LIFE!" Now the Canadian was fuming.

America laughed heartily, "I feel the same way, bro! It's like we've known each other forever! But," At this point, the American got close to her sibling's face and squished his cheeks in with both of her palms, "there's no need to be nervous. I'm just your everyday SuperHeroine."

Canada was so mad.

So.

Fucking.

Mad.

Suddenly, America seemed to remember why she was there and rang at the doorbell. Both North Americans could hear multiple footsteps approach as a sort of scuffle began, until one set calmly stopped at the door and opened it.

"Japan!" America shouted in happiness, "my main man! What's UP, broham?" She strode up to the Japanese man in question and gave him a mighty fine brohug, which the other did not react to, other than freezing at her touch.

As soon as she was over there, she was back next to Canada, staring down at the flushed Japanese man in wonder.

"Dude, you are so epic, you know that?" America gushed, egging on Japan's blush, "you eat all that fugu like a freaking boss! You have Vocaloids, for fuck's sake! And don't even get me started about anime! Like, you came up with Pokemon and Yugioh! I just made them better!" And as soon as Canada had begun to feel a twinge of pride in his sister, she went and said that.

Really, America?

Yep, really.

* * *

"So, Prussia, dude, I'm planning the best prank on Iggy!" America grinned in the albino's direction, "and my hat is gonna help!"

"Your hat..." Canada thought for a minute, before, "oh, fuck off ya hoser!"

America pointedly ignored her brother's comment in favor of leaning in closer to the Prussian, "So dude, are ya in or what?"

Prussia took a moment to contemplate, "Well, it's either go with you two almost awesome guys or stay here and watch Japan try to put Germany in some cosplay-"

"W-what?" Japan stuttered, shocked from his absent-minded sketching, "I-I would never-"

America interrupted him, "Japan would never put Germany in cosplay! That's nothing like him-"

"Thank you America-"

"Besides, he already asked ME to cosplay for him!" the American burst into laughter, standing with her hands on her hips.

"WHAT?" two voices screamed in unison. Japan looked back and forth fervently, trying to find some way to escape what danger would very soon follow.

And follow it did.

"Why don't you want mein schwester to cosplay for you, huh? Is she not pretty enough for you?" Prussia growled at the Japanese man.

"I never said that-" Japan had begun to slowly back away, only to bump into a menacing Canadian man.

The brunet's blood ran cold as he looked up at the Northerner. Canada wore a large smile that didn't quite fit his face and was surrounded by a purple aura reminiscent of a certain Russian.

"You want my sister to cosplay, eh?" Canada giggled ominously, "so, you think that you are going to dress my sister up in your sick sexual fantasy costumes, now do you?"

Japan flushed a deep scarlet, "N-n-n-no! I would never do something that vulgar! I was going to-"

"What were you going to do, Japan?" Canada twitched, stepping closer to the dark-haired man, "what were you planning on dressing her up in the-"

"Yo Japan! Thanks for giving me this fricking awesome Captain America cosplay! It's fucking sweet!" the American girl interrupted, letting out a peal of laughter as she spoke.

Only one thought ran through the three men's heads, 'Damn, is she oblivious!'

* * *

_Dark shadows lined the city walls as the totally unawesome French chick messed with my Eng- wait, no, uh..._

_ -as the totally unawesome Frenchie screwed around with Sir. Caterpillar-Brows! Hells yeah! Walking next to them was none other than... Than... Panda King! What the fuck could these nefarious bastards be up to?_

_ Well, whatever it is, they won't be for long- not when CAPTAIN AMERICA leaps in to save the day! Hahahahah-_

"Ow!" America clutched her now-throbbing head and sent a pout in her brother's direction, "what was that for, Candada?"

Said 'Candadian' sighed.

"America, you're the one who wanted to do this stupid prank!" the blond man whispered, "if you talk any louder, we'll all get caught!" At that point, he gestured to the other two 'guest members', Prussia and Japan, who both looked awkwardly out of place.

No wait, forget that, Prussia just found his "Motherfucking epic cape," leaving himself and Japan as the only sane ones there.

Well, 'there' being a giant tea cup in the middle of London. America had said that it would "totally fit in with all the British-y british stuff in Iggy's capital!"

So never mind, none of them could be normal ever again after this. Ever.

The maple-loving nation pushed that aside in favor of reviewing the plan the hyper American had thought out, "So, you never did specify our plan, which I think is pretty importa-"

"No time!" America pushed Canada's face aside, preparing her weapons, "here he comes! Prussia, Japan, man the trip rope! Cananana, you get the potion ready! And I'll be ready with the big guns- or, ya know the big rockets, I guess!"

Everyone scattered off into different directions. Japan and Prussia hid between buildings on other side of the street and Canada positioned himself atop the teacup, bucket in hand. America lowered herself back into her tea time contraption and waited for her time to strike.

* * *

This was it, the moment they had all been waiting for; England, France and China all began walking towards them. England sped up at the sight of a giant teacup sitting in the middle of his city.

"What the bloody hell is this?" he shouted as he ran towards the monstrosity.

France and China waved the structure off; France being a highly creative nation and China being Chinese, they were used to seeing large works of art randomly popping up in their cities.

England, on the other hand, was a 'stuffy old dude who didn't understand fun,' as his American charge would loudly put it.

Bloody git.

The Englishman strode closer to the large sculpture, face growing redder by the second, when he felt a rope-like object against his ankles, giving him no time to balance himself out. He tripped and fell right into a large container of what looked to be powdered sugar.

The Englishman shakily stood up and wiped the powder from his eyes and mouth before attempting to shout up to the teacup. That was before he felt a drop of liquid hit his tongue.

"Maple?" he questioned, right before a torrent of syrup rained down on him, drenching his hair and body, somehow leaving his face clear. Well, as clear as it could be when it was covered with powder.

England spit out the sweet combination and shouted, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS?" Then, he heard a thunderous laugh, "no... Tell me it isn't-"

"HAHA! WHAT UP MY HOMEBROTHA'?" a voice shouted as America leapt out of the teacup, hands filled with colourful objects, "or should I say HomeSISTA'!"

A cap of some sort was slammed onto the Brit's head just as his sight was covered by the material being slipped down his body. America quickly ran to the confetti launcher and in a fit of impatience, smashed it with her novelty bat before action-movie running from the explosion in a epic way. The glitter exploded from the machine, billowing out and sticking onto Britain.

When the sparkly smoke cleared, everyone burst out laughing at the sight before there eyes; The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland stood in front of them wearing a hot pink prom dress, white powder on his face, a blonde curly-haired wig, and was covered head to toe in maple syrup and glitter, which upon further inspection had ended up actually being sugar glitter.

Yup, leave it to America to plan a prank that's almost entirely made of food.

The Englishman in question looked absolutely furious, frosted-white eyebushes-er, eyebrows furrowing in unfiltered rage.

"A... Am... Ameri..." England shook with anger, close to losing his temper. The American girl remained oblivious to the man about to murder her.

"I think the words you are looking for are 'curse you Captain America,' 'Super America has foiled my plans again,' or you could always go for the 'and I would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for that amazingly epic Red-White-Blue America Hero!'" America shouted before laughing triumphantly.

Five people fell to the floor in shock at the American's complete disregard of the Englishman about ready to kill her.

England took a calming deep breath and said, "AMERICA, YOU ARE AS GOOD AS DEAD!" He raced towards the blonde with his fists raised, ready to deal her a punch when-

"Haha, Iggy, ya know I love to wrestle!" America laughed as she grabbed the Englishman's arm and slammed him onto the ground, "that's why I love you!"

"Wha-" England managed to shout out in surprise before he hit the ground again. He was quickly pulled up by the American, who pressed his face against her chest in a large hug.

The Englishman's face grew beet red as the American girl continued talking and laughing.

And then England was lifted up from behind himself and thrown against the offensive teacup.

Canada was so glad that America was so oblivious because he really didn't need one more person staring at him in disbelief at his action. It was completely justifiable; his sister wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and England could have easily taken advantage of her. Canada didn't like the look on his face when America was hugging him.

Ignoring the sets of eyes on him, Canada fretted over America's maple-stained outfit, "Oh, look what you've done; we'll need to go to the laundromat and get this cleaned, eh?"

The American stopped her rambling to look down at her clothing, then back up to her brother, "Aw yeah, I do! Thanks Cannanada! I love ya, bro!" She gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before dragging him in the direction of the Laundromat.

The rest of the group stared in the twin's direction before shrugging it off and going back to their cars.

England continued to lie on the ground in pain for about two more hours before he picked himself up and left the teacup. And forever that teacup did stay, for England was far too weak to lift it and far too proud to ask for help.

So, all in all, it was a pretty normal day.

* * *

A/N: Awkward ending is awkward.

Hey guys! So I've never said this I don't think (I don't know what I tell you guys anymore, I'm like an open book,) but I am in love with Sherlock (and, obviously, BBC) and now I have fallen for Doctor Who as well! That being said, this chappy was really hard to write without adding Jumpers, hedgehogs, grapes, 1950's telephone booths, the colour blue, or a sonic screwdriver. Please forgive me for joining all of these other fandoms! But, you know what that means! It means that once this incredibly epic story is done, I will be post-crazy! Y'all will be flooded with millions of stories (including Hetalia, of course, my first official fandom!)

[FORGET ALL OF THE ABOVE BECAUSE I NEEDED TO CATCH UP ON MY HETALIA AND THEN EPISODE 11- AND THAT WAS ONLY THE FIRST ONE I WATCHED]

But in the meantime, imma go mess some stuff up in our later chapters! Hehehe, you guys must really hate me!

Reviews make Sea-Chan smile! And a Sea-Chan smile can light up the whole world! Yay fluff!


	28. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: What is this story even about anymore? I really don't know, I think it has spiralled out of control and now I'm here with this pile of story-crap to fix and- oh yeah, I don't own Hetalia**.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Headache**

"So... How long are you planning on going as 'Francine'?" Germany asked the woman sitting across from her.

The woman in question simply flipped her hair in reply. The German girl grew a light shade of red in anger at the other's apathy at their current situation.

"France-"

"Francine!" The Frenchwoman interrupted. Germany growled under her breath but corrected the mistake.

"Francine," she leant forward to look more intimidating, but France had to hold back a giggle at how adorable the girl looked instead, "let me put all of this information together: This week you and England became fake lovers-"

"Who said it was fake?" France winked before she was hit on the head by Germany.

"Shut up France. This week you and England became fake lovers, Sealand snuck into England's rape chamber and cast some sort of spell which had made her pass out, Latvia went to Russia for guidance, both Japan and China arrived at our houses unannounced while insisting that we had called them, you kissed England, America breast-hugged England's face, and England was cross-dressed as a prank?"

There was a moment of silence before France nodded, "Yes, that's about right!"

"And how is this relevant to our predicament?" Germany hissed through her teeth.

France shrugged, "It's not! I just thought it was hilariou-"

"Get out," Germany deadpanned as she stood up, pointing toward the door.

"But Germany, aren't you being unreasonable about thi-"

"OUT!" And with that final yell, France evacuated the house and drove off. Germany fell back onto the couch and let out a sigh, digesting all of the new intel she had been given.

Despite her sour attitude towards the Frenchwoman, she still believed that any information was good information. Germany also knew that she didn't like France all that much and would rather be rid of that nuisance for the day.

She closed her eyes and held a hand over her face in a display of her mental and physical exhaustion. The woman just wished for it all to be over; she was done with the stress that came with this form. She had been given enough stress as it was when she was a man, but now...

Germany had a headache. A horrible, skull-pounding headache beating against her brain with a heavy hammer. Each sound, no matter how minuscule, was magnified in her head.

Her brow furrowed to the sound of the living room door squeaking open. Light footsteps tapped against the floorboard; it was confusing, really, because neither Prussia nor the Italy's seemed capable of producing that light of footsteps while Japan customarily replaced his shoes for slippers whenever he entered a household.

After a while with the two figures in the room together, Germany gave up trying to figure out who the mystery person was, her head being a far more immediate focus than knowing who was beside her. After all, there was no way an intruder could make it onto her premises, thanks to both her dogs and elder sibling, and if they did, she would be able to easily take care of that.

So she relaxed with a small sigh, content with rubbing her temples in a vain attempt to alleviate the current pain she was feeling. It didn't work.

Focused on her headache, she didn't notice the slight shuffling of feet which would have alerted her that the mysterious person was approaching her, but then again, she would realise it when said person caught her lips in a short kiss- too short for her to register- and ran off immediately afterwards.

She shot up after the door slammed and ran to open it back up again, looking for any clue that would tell her who it had been. There were none.

Germany set a hand softly against her flushed cheek, moving it lightly to the mouth which had just been touched by another. Her head spun in a mixture of confusion and wonder and a weird fuzzy, bouncy, floating feeling and she discovered that her headache was long gone.

* * *

**A/N: OMIGOD. I have the best reviewers ever. This is so great, I can't even breath-**

**Maybe because BLOODY TEXAS CAME ALONG AND TIED ME UP, THat was so great. Motorboats and a lot of other hilarious shit, you guys just need to click over to the reviews right now, I swear they are better than this story!**

**I don't know if these are multiple anonymous people or just one person but whoever you are, I love you.**

**I give you all some Germany fluff! But who is the perpetrator? Hmm?**

**I wonder if I'll tell you (I won't, obviously!)**

**This chapter was made to sum up every crazy thing that had happened in this week! Now, everything is gonna start mooshing together! Things will be revealed, fluff will be at an all-time max (or low, depending on if I want to torture y'all or not) and our characters will all twist and turn!**

**Review for Daffodil coffee! Yum!**


	29. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia! Don't you realize that? And I most certainly do not own Tinkerbell**.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Mystic Miracle**

England was sitting in his bathroom, scraping chunks of maple syrup from his hair, when an iridescent trail of light sped toward him.

Bottle-green orbs widened and a large grin spread across the Brit's face, "Ah, there you are Tink! Where have you been?"

The fairy in question flew around England's head before landing on the tip of his nose. The Brit crossed his eyes to better see the sprite, laughing dorkily when some of her twinkling dust settled on his nose.

'Tink', as she found herself constantly nicknamed, pulled a shrunk item from her satchel and bounced from England to the bathroom's counter, setting the object onto the smooth surface before returning to the country.

The item in question began to glow brightly and in a flash of light had grown into a medium-sized flask of what appeared to be a clear syrup. England knew better, of course, and handled the substance with care.

He wiped his sticky hands off and held the filled bottle in his hands, quietly examining it as his smaller friend floated in an impatient manner. England brought the glass closer to his eye, calculating each separate particle to decode what it was.

Tink, losing what little patience she had, flew next to England and kicked at his face.

The man startled and nearly dropped the flask, catching it before it could hit the ground. He let it rest on the sink and sighing softly to himself as the irritable fairy's light became ruby with embarrassment.

England regained his composure quickly, unable to stay mad at his smaller friend for more than a second. He took a quick inhale of air before picking up his shampoo bottles and returning them to their rightful places in a pace that only an experienced nation such as himself could go at.

Once everything was put away, England wiped his hands on his embroidered hand-towel. He grabbed the flask off of the washbasin and raced down the stairs at an inhuman pace.

Once he was safely in his lair, he set the bottle next to the other necessary ingredients for the antidote. England opened the spell-book which had caused so many problems and flipped it to the correct page for this serum.

He looked at each listed ingredient, check marking them off on a scrap sheet of paper. Once he reached the end of his list, he was left with one ingredient left; the saliva of a Northern Boggart. The substance he had examined did hold the properties of Boggart material and his fairies were never wrong.

England nodded to himself and turned to Tink, giving her shrunken-down trinkets to carry back to her home. She bowed quickly and was gone in a trail of magic and stardust.

The soft smile spread across Britain's face immediately fell as soon as he turned his attention back at the book, which told him the next steps in fixing the 'girls'.

Luckily, they had found just enough ingredients for each girl. Germany, Russia, America, Sealand, and France would all be returned to their original form. And the ingredients had been collected just in time for the eclipse.

The Englishman sighed to himself in relief. It was a good thing the eclipse had landed on this certain year, or else who knows how long the others would have to be stuck as females?

And so the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northen Ireland rolled up his sleeves and began on the saviour to everyone's problems.

* * *

**A/N: I am a horrible authoress. You may shoot me now.**

**This chapter took too long for me to write because of reasons that you all probably don't want to hear. I am very sorry. **

**Due to my horribly slow writing, I am planning on lengthening the time in between chapters. With Finals coming up for many students, including myself, I will plan on posting every other Sunday. I apologise for the inconvenience and hope that you all will continue to read my story despite the slower updates.**

**More action is gonna start up soon!**

**We got to see what Iggy's up to, so next time we will catch up with Russia (and possibly our little Latvian friend while we're at it) And after that... DRAMA!**

**Ok, I better stop writing since its bloody12:15 am, dammit!**

**I love you all! Thank you for reading this far and I can't wait to see ya next chappy!**

**Review for TinkerTantrums! Because whenever I see the adapted Tinkerbell movies, I automatically think of England (and crab-cakes, but that's a different story...)**

**REVIEW!**


	30. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, it would still be on page three of my notebook.**

**Whoops.**

**I'm sorry, please don't hate me for the Hiatus. Also, happy summer!**

**Aaaaaand START!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Emotions**

After staying at Russia's house for the night, Latvia climbed into his car and began to drive back to his Baltic home.

Before he had left the large mansion, Russia had placed a soft hand on his shoulder. He had looked up at the woman, small shivers running down his spine at the thought of being shrunk again- until he saw her face; two pairs of violet orbs clashed and Latvia was looking, amazed, into the eyes of someone reborn. It was as if the woman in front of him was finally complete. The twisted glint of malevolence previously held in Russia's stare was gone, the puzzle pieces finally aligned.

Russia was whole.

She had smiled softly at his shocked expression, giggling slightly when he snapped back into focus with a deep blush. Russia had leant down and whispered something into his ear; her words echoed through his mind as he drove.

"Never stop fighting, Little Latvi. Never give up because anything is possible."

Had Russia always been this wise, Latvia wondered to himself as he turned onto the highway that would take him back home.

Suddenly, one particular sign caught the Latvian's eye: Moscow Metropolitan Airport in 1 mile.

He can't remember exactly how it had happened, but he knows that his grip on the steering wheel had tightened as he made a sharp turn onto the exit leading to the airport.

The Latvian's feet seemed to have a mind of their own. Once the soles of his shoes hit the ground, he sped off into the building. He flashed his ID to any worker or policeman questioning him, using his nation-status to get him through the process quicker.

He had no time to process what he was doing as he climbed onto the airplane. He settled into his chair and sighed as the flight attendant's voice crackled through the plane.

"We are now departing from Moscow and will arrive at London, England in approximately four hours and five minutes. Thank you for riding with Aeroflot and we hope you enjoy your stay."

Latvia sat up quickly as everything he just did finally caught up to him. He had just driven to the airport and bought himself a plane ticket to England without even realizing it.

An older man looked over him with wise eyes as he warbled out, "This must be your first love-induced action, huh?"

Latvia was startled by this and asked the elder citizen, " How did you know that?" A small smirk grazed the man's cracked lips as he let out a small breath of air.

"You look as if you had seen a ghost, so I assumed you just got on this plane without realizing it," the greying human stated lightheartedly.

Latvia let out a small chuckle, feeling a strange sensation bubble inside of him until he burst out into peals of laughter, the old man soon joining him.

Latvia barley heard the announcement overhead that allowed passengers to move around, instead thinking about one girl only.

The Latvian boy looked out the window at the rolling"Sealand, I'm coming for you, so please wait for me!"

* * *

Russia smiled softly to herself as she watched her Little Latvi drive away from the house. He had grown so much (although his height never did change, oddly enough) and was now a better Nation for it.

She then let out a huff of annoyance when she turned from the front window to be met with... Belarus.

More specifically, it was Belarus surrounded by a large pile of Pravda newspapers. Each paper was from a different week and some were from over forty years ago.

The most important detail, though, was the fact that a day earlier, Russia had spent an hour cleaning the room spotless of any sort of blemish- namely, random loose papers from the floor.

"Belarus..." the Russian woman trailed off warningly, glaring at the younger Belarusian in a stern manner. Belarus rolled her eyes at this and continued to read.

"Yes, Russia?" she responded dryly. The woman in question gave another sigh before stacking up all of the papers in her arms and beginning the trek towards Belarus' room. Belarus stood slowly and trailed behind the elder girl.

Once at the simple door, Russia turned the brass knob and entered a truly horrifying place. A hodgepodge of objects scattered the room in a disorganised manner; there was everything from occult books to gymnastic medals to sheet music, all scattered around haphazardly.

Russia's head began to pound as it slowly dawned on her who would be cleaning the mess. And she had thought that she had a free weekend.

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**A/N: Happy Mother's Day, everyone! Hope you all had a great day; I did! I made my Mum a homemade cherry cheesecake! (I also ate some of it)**

**What?**

**Anyways, next up, our Nordic friends will return! Our story will finally begin to close! But what will happen? I don't even know! **

**Thank you for your continued support and stay tuned for my next update!**

**Review for some licorice! Do you want some licorice? Iceland not included.**


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